autism · SATIRE

Jenny McCarthy Causes Autism

Researchers at MTS University in Virginia believe they may have found the cause of autism: Jenny McCarthy. A new study shows a strong correlation between the rise in the “actresses” fame and the rise in the number of children with autism reported in the United States and Canada.Researchers in the field only recently stumbled across this information coincidentally at a seminar at which McCarthy, a well known autism expert, was the keynote speaker. While speaking at length about her career in porn and crappy movies, one researcher noted that her first appearance in playboy marked the beginning of the dramatic rise in children with autism (among other things). As her fan-base and popularity increased, so did the prevalence of autism.


Jenny Mccarthy Causes AutismThe same researchers were even startled to find that the correlation between her rise in popularity/rise in autism is much more strongly correlated than vaccines and autism. When asked for comment, McCarthy tweeted, “correlation doesn’t equal causation, jackass.”

To which we all exclaimed, “UH DUH!”