confessions · fluffy posts · Rants

So blubbery right now.

I’m not going to lie. I want my blog to be read. I want readERS. I think anyone who blogs regularly in an open format like this wants that. I get all excited every single time I see that I have a new “follower” or find out someone else is reading here. Because it means that what I am saying has SOME effect. Maybe it makes you laugh. Maybe it makes you angry. Maybe it just gives you something to do while you sit on the toilet.  With every new reader, I feel renewed commitment to having this blog be as authentic and true to the life I’m living as it can be. Good and bad.

Ever since I decided to stop caring how people “see” me and just be myself, I’ve found this blog to be hugely liberating. And, at the same time, I’ve found how much I truly LOVE to write. How the words come to me when I sit at my computer. I really do work hard on each post. Each word is carefully chosen. Believe it or not, even the swears are thought about.

I’ve gotten a lot of shit crap poop from some close to me about the words I use. They told me that if I have people who are not members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (LDS or Mormons) reading this blog, I’m going to turn them away from being interested in the Church. They told me that I’m not being a good example of my family or of my Church.

I hope they are wrong. I hope that if you are a member of the LDS Church that I have not offended you with what I have said. The language I have used. I did not make this blog out to offend ANYONE (until my next post). It’s my personal blog. It’s my personal writing. I write the way I talk in everyday life. I write about that everyday life. Some days it’s hectic and loud and sweary. Others are peaceful, pleasant and nice. And in both instances, I still feel the hand of God in my life. I hope if you are not a member of the church, my writing has shown you my relationship with God and my love for the LDS faith, and maybe it has made you want to learn more.  Maybe not even about Mormonism per se- but about faith. About God. About good crap like that.

I did not set this out to be a “Mormon Mommy Blog” because, though I love the Mormon religion, that’s not what this blog is all about. I did not set it out to be an Autism blog, a Down syndrome blog, a craft blog or even an ranting mommy blog. I set it out to be ME. And for the last year, I think I’ve been {mostly} honest in the things I have said.

So I can’t say that it doesn’t hurt my insides a lot some can’t see past a “shit, hell, fart or damn” every once in a while to the true message of my blog. I feel it’s like someone who can’t see through the scar on my forehead or the extra weight around my waist to see me. They focus so much on the little things, that they are missing the big things. What I did set out this for this blog to be:

A blog about a semi-normal mom in an abnormal situation. A mom that wasn’t endowed on high by any special gifts in order to have her special kids. I want people to see that if a mother, one with ADHD and a small obsession with kittens (which she can never have, no less), can handle two special-needs kids and still laugh about life, they can, too. Maybe it will help someone to see the beauty in Down syndrome and choose to keep their baby who has just been diagnosed with it prenatally. Or maybe someone will see how great it is and it will inspire them to rescue a child with Down syndrome from a life in an adult mental institution somewhere on the other side of the world.  

If nothing else, I hope I make you laugh. I hope that I make coming back worth it. And for those of you who have come back, time after time, month after month, I can’t tell you how much it means to me. You say such nice things. You make me feel like I’m doing something good. I appreciate it more than you will ever, ever know.

You make me want to continue to do something that is cathartic for me. That helps ME more than I’m sure it will ever help anyone else. Because I need to write. Some days, like today, I need to just GET IT OUT. Thank you for staying along for all of it. All of me. And for not judging me or making me feel like I’m less of a person because I don’t do or see things JUST the way you do.  For seeing past my faults and my scars and my lack of personal hygiene to who I really am:  Lexi Sweatpants.

With that being said, get ready for my next post. It’s going to be super hateful.

Rants

Congrats Beyonce and Jay-Z on your stupid baby!

(this post is crazy amounts of judgmental. I suck. I’m sorry)
I guess if you have a made-up name yourself, it’s okay to give your baby something super wacky, too. Along those lines, Mostly True Stuff is pleased to announce the arrival of
 

That’s right. They named their baby Blue Ivy. Ivy is usually purple, but whatever. They’re celebrities, they can do whatever the hell they want, right?

Like drop close to TWO MILLION dollars on the arrival of their stupid baby. Yes. Two million. Sure, you say, with money like theirs, that’s chump change. It probably is. But I’d like to break that down in real terms. They spent 1.3 million dollars renovating a wing of the hospital they had her at. They were there for a couple of days. 1.3 million just for the stupid birth (not to mention ALL of the crap they put the other parents who were there through because they think they’re royalty. Google that side of the story. It pisses me off as well. I’ve had two kids spend time in the NICU and it’s hard enough by itself. It makes me hate.)

photo credit

Then they went ahead and spent $500,000 on a tricked out MINIVAN. No joke, here’s a picture of it:

A half a million dollar VAN! For one kid. Still doesn’t make driving a minivan cool, by the way.

I can’t even begin to imagine what her nusery is like.

I don’t usually bag on celebrities, mostly because I don’t care enough about them to do so, but this one got me. 2 million on the birth of one baby. Those people are so out of touch it’s unbelievable.

Last year, through the countless hours of hundreds upon hundreds of fundraisers and friends, Reece’s Rainbow received 1.7 million dollars in funding, helping to bring home 196 orphans.  That isn’t an ONLY 1.7 million. That’s A LOT of money. I know a lot of the people who worked SO hard to get those donations. I know some people who were able to use those donations to bring home new members of their families. Most of these children have Down syndrome or other developmental disabilities. Some are HIV positive. These children weren’t just adopted, they were rescued. Had they not been adopted, they would have been sent to adult mental institutions. Most children with Down syndrome who are sent to these institutions die in the first year.

Have I wrecked your day? Has this turned into a Sarah McLaughlin animal ad? (I swear when I turn those on my day is ruined. Sad dogs.) Sorry suckers. It’s the truth.

So with the money that they spent on their stupid baby (their baby isn’t stupid and I really don’t like the use of that word, but I needed to get your attention) they could have helped save the lives of hundreds of children just like Abby. They could have financed all of those families, like us, who would love to adopt one of these perfect children, but who just don’t have the money to do it.

They could have done something really good. Instead, they have a wing in a hospital that they won’t ever use again (who needs a BULLET PROOF DOOR on a delivery room? Do they moonlight as Russian spies?!) , a minivan they’ll never be caught driving, and brought home the same kind of baby that you and I did for the cost of our insurance co-payment.The baby doesn’t know the difference. It doesn’t make bringing life into the world any more grand than it was for anyone who didn’t have armed guards.

I hear Beyonce talk about her faith in Christ all of the time. Maybe she should have taken a cue from His birth. It was the most spectacular of them all, right? Maybe it’s the hypocrisy that gets me.  They talk about how God has given them all of these blessings but totally MISS what He asks of us.

 I wonder if they’ve figured a way to get a camel through an eye of a needle?

Did you see this on ABC? This is what I’m talking about.