Whether you believe it or not, I choose my words carefully on this blog. I wrote two posts about abortion and Down syndrome. The first post I wrote on in two years ago was my first post to ever go ‘viral’. It was read and shared by people who believed exactly as I do. I patted myself on the back and thought that I was really getting the message about choosing life with Down syndrome out there. That my words were making a difference.
A funny thing began to happen. I watched as people would land on this blog using search terms like “Should I abort Downs syndrome baby?” and “Prenatal Down syndrome abortion.” A couple of times, I watched where they went on my blog. They came, they read for a minute or two, they left and never came back. They read the words and were turned away from the real message. I know from speaking to one person who came to me worried about keeping her pregnancy with a baby with Down syndrome that my words in those posts were harsh and shut down the conversation. They didn’t allow space for someone who really wanted to see what life is like for our family and to poke around to know the reality.
My message was lost in my words.
I find myself getting offended at the very thought that someone wouldn’t want a child like Abby, and that leads me to say things in ways that shut down conversations. It makes me an asshole, not an advocate. At the end of the day, my views on it really won’t make as much difference, I think, as just being open and honest about our lives. People are going to make whatever choice they are going to make, and with anything, it’s not my place to condemn them. What I want is for people to see how good life really is for Abby, even if it’s not always easy. I want people to STAY on my blog to see that if someone like me can handle the things on my plate (albeit poorly at times…lots of times) that they can, too.
I want people to know the facts, both good and otherwise, about life with Down syndrome. Research shows that doctors aren’t trained in delivering such a message to expectant mothers, and a great deal of the time, they give information that is outdated or downright wrong. If you want to learn the facts about Down syndrome, I HIGHLY suggest you go to this site and order or download a copy of Understanding A Down Syndrome Diagnosis. It’s free.
If you’re here because you’ve been given the news that the baby you carry has an extra chromosome and need someone to talk to, feel free to contact me. I beg you to read on. To see the good, to know what to expect of the hard, and to know that you’re not alone.
Lexi Mag 
All I can say is that his world would be missing something very special without Abby!
Great resource. I feel the same way when people come to the spina bifida message boards saying that they are planning to abort and wanting advice. It’s hard to hold back the intensity of the emotions I feel in moments like that. Great post.
When we have a passion the words can seem harsh. When we have experiences that have taught us so much, it’s difficult to reign in the passion. When things seem so common sense to us it’s hard to comprehend how others don’t see or get the main point. Sometimes we want everyone to get it, but the reality is that even if only one person gets it then we’ve done our part and made a difference to one child’s life. Sometimes that has to be enough, if only for today.
Every child is a precious child, created by God in His image.
I get this. Of feeling offended that something must be so horrible about your child that a certain amount of people would not give her/him life. Love your “message” here. What makes you such an awesome advocate is that you are able to take a deep breath, step back, and re-work your words to keep spreading the message that life with Down Syndrome has its challenges but the rewards are HUGE!
Thank you Lexi. That is valuable advice. It stopped me
from leaving a message that could be perceived as hateful
at the end of a story that I have been working on53 years.