I just posted this status on my Facebook page:
“I question the sanity of a woman who frequently talks about how great being a stay at home mom is.”
A lively conversation is still going on there. I’m pretty sure I’ve offended half of my demographic. Whatever. I mean, sorry. I have never been quiet about this: I dislike being a stay at home mom. It’s just not my thing. I see mothers who make shnazzy lunches and REVEL in toddler games and whatnot and I think, “Is this a woman thing? Did I miss that gene? Why can’t I do any of that without feeling immense amounts of hatred?” Actually, I almost took a picture of Abby’s lunch today because it included fruit. Then I did, because she dipped her banana in syrup from her waffles and I was completely astounded that I had never in my 31 years thought of dipping fruit into syrup. She gets it.
I get that I’m lucky to be able to stay at home with my kids. That we don’t need two incomes to survive. Sorry, those last two sentences were crap. We do without a lot because I HAVE to stay at home. My car is 10 years old and smells of feet (the last part isn’t a money thing, it’s a lazy thing). Lance drives a Hyundai that he barely fits in. Even with Abby starting school part time, I can’t work. In the eight days that she’s actually gone to school (she just spent four days home sick) I’ve been called three times to get her because they were worried about her breathing. These are the same days that I have to run a library book over to Casey’s school because he’s freaking out about not being able to get a new Titanic book or pick him up because he’s too overstimulated to ride the bus home. I can’t work. I want to. I need something to occupy my brain and honestly? I’m sick to freaking death of living on the edge of financial ruin. We will have moved twice in the last two years (and will move across the country again in August) to take representative jobs to pay off Abby’s medical debts. We’re going home to find a place to rent near a school that will take all four of my kids. But even now, I don’t know if we can afford to live anywhere near a good school that will do it. HARG. I get that working would only ADD to my load, but it would be so nice to not have to worry as much about money all of the damn time.
I do understand that there are women who would love to stay at home but can’t. I still think you’re crazy though. Okay not crazy. I guess it all has it’s ups and downs. I suck at playing with toddlers. I hate that I’m expected to have food in the house. But it’s super great to have the time to do laundry. I don’t know how working moms do laundry. Or groceries. Or really, anything. I’m in awe of working moms. But I’m jealous of your being able to make friends at work. To talk to adults- to anyone. Abby is super cute, but the girl doesn’t say a damn word. I’m not going to lie, it’s awesome lonely being home by myself all day long.
I guess what I’m really upset about is that this whole thing about motherhood being the greatest thing in the world seems more and more like a bunch of dudes got together and figured out a great way to trick us into doing the laundry for the rest of our lives. It’s for that reason that I spend most of my time trying to figure out new and interesting ways to toy with my husband. I do other things to spice things up. Today Abby and I went outside and verbally abused some poor unsuspecting birds. Tomorrow we’re going to harass the teenagers at the beach. I’m always looking for a new fun way to make home life less boring.
So, stay at home moms, what have you done recently to spice things up at home? What do you do to break up the BEAUTIFUL MONOTONY that is being a stay at home mother? I swear though, if you say, “create works of art for my kids to not appreciate in their lunch boxes” I will throat punch you- with LOVE.