autism · SATIRE

Jenny McCarthy Causes Autism

Researchers at MTS University in Virginia believe they may have found the cause of autism: Jenny McCarthy. A new study shows a strong correlation between the rise in the “actresses” fame and the rise in the number of children with autism reported in the United States and Canada.Researchers in the field only recently stumbled across this information coincidentally at a seminar at which McCarthy, a well known autism expert, was the keynote speaker. While speaking at length about her career in porn and crappy movies, one researcher noted that her first appearance in playboy marked the beginning of the dramatic rise in children with autism (among other things). As her fan-base and popularity increased, so did the prevalence of autism.


Jenny Mccarthy Causes AutismThe same researchers were even startled to find that the correlation between her rise in popularity/rise in autism is much more strongly correlated than vaccines and autism. When asked for comment, McCarthy tweeted, “correlation doesn’t equal causation, jackass.”

To which we all exclaimed, “UH DUH!”


49 thoughts on “Jenny McCarthy Causes Autism

  1. OMG. This is a beautiful thing that you have wrought. I, officially, want to be your disciple. (Smacking myself, wondering why I haven't thought of this. JM owes me mucho bucks for therapy, chew toys, diapers, Xanax, alcohol…)

  2. I literally could not love this any more if you paid me!!! I spend LOTS of time preaching about the evils of Jenny McCarthy's view on Autism 😉 You are AWESOME, Lexi!

  3. Amazing, amazing stuff. The mere mention of Jenny McCarthy's name on the radio this morning was enough to make me throw up a little bit in my mouth.

  4. It all makes so much sense now! Thanks for enlightening me, I'm off to find a lawyer so I can sue her for all she's worth. (Which isn't much, I know)

  5. LOL ahhh gold. This is the first post of yours that I have stumbled across and am now a follower. This post was made of pure win!

  6. Wow. Just, um. Wow. My kids would be healthy if I don't vaccinate. That makes a lot of logical sense. Have you seen the outbreak of whooping cough in Washington State? You cool with your kid getting it or giving it to my kid who hasn't had that vaccine yet because she's been so sick? It would kill her. Educate myself? How, with science and data or with hearsay and fringe theory? Listen to those in the medical profession, scientists, and those who have advanced degrees or listen to a PORN STAR whose child probably didn't have autism to begin with? Look at case studies or at large, peer reviewed and replicated studies? Don't assume that because I vaccinate doesn't mean I'm some "basement dweller" and I won't assume that you're a complete goober for posting the crap you have. And no more kids for me? Because I vaccinate? Sorry, you are a goober.

  7. I lost a LOT of respect for Oprah for giving into the masses and giving JM some "cred." Um, yeah, I'm going to take medical advice from a porn star (eyeroll). Signed proud vaccinate-on-time-mom-to-2-healthy-girls.

  8. So a porn actress is the expert on Autism? Jim hooked up with a ho! This is such good news. I cannot thank you enough for the heads up and giggles. I have never in my life considered an uneducated slut to be a good source of information on children's health. I survived polio and my son got the vaccine and never had it. I forgot to get my booster and I got pertussis; which I never had as a child who had been vaccinated. I would not wish on any parent or child the horror of watching a little child cough until they cannot catch a breath and ribs are broken. They can die from lack of oxygen or punctured organs. I timed my coughing. Between 45 minutes and an hour each time for 6 weeks. Naysayers who follow a single discredited doctor, porn actresses and talk show hosts for health information should be sterilized before they endanger more people. There is no excuse for ignorance with the Internet jam packed with information. If you do not read both sides you have no right to claim to be well educated on the subject.

  9. LOVE and yup it deserved to be capitalized because that is how much I love this! You can add Jacqueline from the Real House Wives of NJ to this list of people and their stupidity causing autism as she is telling her 80,000 followers on her page how her 3 year is recovering because she sticks the poor kid in a $20,000 in home oxygen chamber every day. These folks with the fame and fan base to really do something should be ashamed of themselves for sending out the wrong messages. My kid doesn’t need a cure or recovery he needs understanding and acceptance! Okay sorry preaching to choir now!

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  12. I was completely horrified to read everyone’s comments on a subject they clearly have no life experience with.If they had really lived with the struggles of Autism these harsh words would never be spouted out.I live it everyday with my 8 yr old son Logan.I was a mother that always made sure my children were up to date on immunizations and health issues were immediately taken care of.Until my son was diagnosed with Autism at age 2 and I decided that there was to much evidence pointing to vaccines causing my sons condition.Later found out that he has a duplicate gene and should have not been given vaccines.His father also has this duplicate gene,yet in the 70’s his immunizations were nothing like what were giving our children today.Now some people do not believe that this is the cause and practically demanded my son receive more shots to keep attending school.It has taken 5 years to cleanse the toxins out of his system from his initial shots and my son is finally starting to talk a little.Now according to others comments on here I guess I should keep giving my son something that is destroying him to be accepted in mainstream population.Now if I had blindly followed my doctors instruction my son would not be alive today.No one has a clue what is the cause of Autism and until they can prove without a doubt that its safe then i believe we should be in charge of our children’s health and not be expected to just line up like cattle. No one has any right to assume that her son probably didn’t even have Autism when clearly he still does and has had to work very hard just to get where he is today.SHAME on all you people who judge and think its ok to post such crap to her twitter and make light of such a serious condition.Lets hope that karma doesn’t find you all and give you a taste of what we parents are living with daily.It’s this kind of inhumanity that is destroying us all.

    1. Sandy Bond-If you were following the research, you would have read where the doctor who conducted and made the conclusion regarding the relationship between autism & vaccinations FALSIFIED HIS DATA AND OUTCOMES and was discredited for such reprehensible actions. I, too, have a son with autism. And I believe that JM is a nut case. You and I are much more expert in the area of autism. We live it every day without the benefit of nannies and hired help. I don’t begrudge JM for having the resources to help her son. I begrudge that she is continuing to spread this FALSE & DISCREDITED study. She has not “cured” her son. She has found things that may help reduce his symptoms. Good for her. I have too. And guess what, my child is fully immunized and up to date. I’m not writing a book or going on talk shows talking about bogus studies. I’m sharing some of the things that worked for my son with other mothers. I don’t claim that my son is “cured.” I’m just thankful that we have been able to minimize his symptoms so that he can function is our society with few accommodations.

  13. Will’s mom…YOU clearly have not been following the research…you’ve been following the “news” (which has been falsified)!
    Wakefield found vaccine strain measles virus in the guts of the kids he studied. He said MMR vaccines should be looked into and vaccines should be made available separately rather than in combination such as MMR.
    Any anyone who thinks parents make the decision not to vaccinate their kids based solely on Wakefield or Jenny needs their head examined. I never heard of Wakefield and had no idea what Jenny’s views were on vaccines when I decided against vaccinating. My journey began with wanting to know WHY there was a vaccine for chickenpox since it’s so mild and it just snowballed from there. I guarantee I know more about vaccines than most doctors and nurses who push them do. Blindly following the herd is dangerous and a little curiosity and knowledge go a long way. I’m thankful that my completely non-vaccinated kid is so healthy. He didn’t even get whooping cough when his vaccinated mom had it!

  14. I just shat myself over this one. Freaking awesome. Who says aspies don’t sarcasm? Cos this girl thinks this is freaking brilliant!

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