New Cat Army


  My friend Heather sent me an early 30th birthday present: A box of freaking cats!

So then I had hundreds of cats and nothing to do with them. I started randomly placing them on things. Picture frames, mostly. Then walking up my stairs. Then on the rails. Kind of like a Hitchcock movie. I took pictures and sent them to Heather to show her that the cats made it safely and were infiltrating nicely.

Then I had a few moments alone. With the cats. I did what any person would do. I pet them for a little bit…then tried to see how many I could fit in my mouth.  Just as I was reaching capacity, the nanny walked in. There was nothing I could do. I couldn’t explain. I couldn’t scream, “Don’t you judge me!” like I wanted to. I couldn’t tell her to look away. I couldn’t say anything. Because my mouth was full of cats.

 12. I can fit 12 cats in my mouth. Thank you Heather, for the fantastic gift…

Google Friend Connect is being rendered obsolete, from what I hear. So like my “Facebook” page (to the right), so you never miss out on such gems as beautiful as this post…

9 thoughts on “Catmouth.

  1. Well I don't know how to respond to this. Part of me wants to say how happy Lance must be but then I know your mom reads the blog so I can't say that. But knowing me I will NOT err on the side of caution and leave it out there. I will totally not be offended if you pull this comment. Yes, I am always like this. And I am sorry.

  2. I ended up with an entire armadillo collection donated to our garage sale last weekend. They are now proudly displayed on my mantle. I'm sure it will have to come down at some point, but right now they have a home in my living room. I love them.

  3. you might be able to get into the guniness book of worlds records with stuffing plastic cats in your mouth. i just saw that there was a dude in there holding the record for the most drinking straws stuffed in his mouth. i cant remember how many it was – over 100 – i just remember wondering how people stumble upon this rare, weird, and random talents……. now i know 🙂

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