To those of you who kindly expressed your point of view, even though it was in opposition to mine, and without putting me down, I thank you. I know how hard it is to stand up for what you believe when you think those around you feel differently. It’s exactly how I felt when I went to post this. I thought really it would be the end of this blog. Because MOST of my readers are from faiths who actively oppose gay marriage. I thought I was in the minority of how I believe.
Here’s some fun statistics. A poll done by FoxNews said that only 38% of the country believes that gay people should get married. However, a Gallup Pole from last year said that 53% of people said gay marriages should be recognized. Aaaah, Fox News…
I thank you for being brave and for standing up for your position. For at least trying to see my point of view. I recognize that there is always going to be disagreements in this area. I have nothing but respect for you and your beliefs. It’s like I said to one commenter, and I really really believe this, “you standing up for what you believe does not make you a bigot, me standing up for what I believe does not make me a sinner.” and I believe this. I think most of the conversation was fantastic. I don’t believe that those who believe for religious reasons that gay marriage should not be allowed are bigots. They are following their own convictions. They deserve the same protections to their speech as I do. They deserve the same respect that they gave me.
To those of you who have said that I did this for attention, you are jerks. I get WAY more blog hits for my posts on autism and Down syndrome than I did for this. Just more people commented this time. If I wanted attention, there are better ways to do it and NOT sent through the ringer as I have been these last couple of days. I did this because I look at my two beautiful children who were born with special needs and I want for people to stand up for them and their rights. And though what we are fighting for with my children is different from what I am fighting for here, I feel like I cannot ask that from others if I am not willing to do the same for them.
I’m not going to even address the whole “grow up, get off your computer and raise your kids” comment because I know I don’t need to. I know what kind of mother I am. I do need to address though that I thought I knew who it was who said that, and I was completely wrong. I’m sorry to the person I had implied it was, and sorry to anyone who thought they knew who I was talking about. I do not know AT ALL who wrote that post.
For the most part, I truly believe that everyone was respectful, thoughtful, and nice with their comments. That’s a step forward to at least trying to see eye to eye on this issue. I feel like MOST people treat those around them with dignity and respect, regardless of whether or not you agree with their lifestyle. That being said, there is still entirely too much hatred towards gay people. I’ve received a couple of emails from people who are gay telling me the hurt they went through when people who professed to be Christian would not accept them, and in fact, turned away from them after hearing that they were gay. This is not what Christ would have wanted for us to do. Did he turn away from lady caught in sin? I wanted to write a whole other post on this, but it’s been done, and it’s been done way better than I could have. The best piece I’ve ever read written about this was by Single Dad Laughing, and can be found here:
This post went viral last year, so I’m sure most of you have read it. If not, it’s a good refresher in this area.
Anyways, I hope to close the door on this conversation, at least the religious aspect of it. I feel I need to repeat this- my religious leaders have accepted me and my feelings and have still found me to be in good standing with the church. You have no right to judge me. I will not respond to those comments.
24 thoughts on “So guess what…”
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Just read through yesterdays post and all the comments…I have to hand it to you Lexi, for being LDS you are one brave woman to share your honest feelings about a topic like this…I applaud you! Religious people are entitled to their beliefs and they can believe all they want that being gay is a sin…But that does not give them the right to push their beliefs on everyone else and take away, or withhold, the rights of gay people who wish to be married. You are right, this is not an issue of religion, it is an issue of allowing people equal rights…And that's the bottom line.Also I wanted to add one of the reasons I admire you for posting on this topic…Most people, myself included, feel the Mormon Church is almost cult like, where everyone just follows blindly, never questioning what they are being told, never having their own opinion or thoughts…Just being led along…You have proven me wrong…You have shown me that people can be of the LDS faith and not be judgmental and close minded…That you do not follow blindly. So thank you for that…Thank you for sharing what you feel in your heart to be right. Excellent posts!
I didn't like your post yesterday because there were so many comments I felt people didn't get a chance to appreciate MY comment fully.
Yay, Jim! Yay! I appreciate this comment! Way to go! You're the best!
Lexi, it had to be so scary to come out openly against the prophet of your church. You are a courageous woman and an awesome mother! My husbnad and I love your blog posts about autism; they hit VERY close to home. Keep 'em comin!!!!
Yeah. . . see this is a WAY better post already.
also, probably this isn't the appropriate forum for this, but how do you get those kickass fonts? Are you doing those your own darn self? They're really good.Also also, I need you to make me a new button now that I changed my logo to a better Lily with a keystone behind her. I'd do it myself, but I felt like that would be a slap in the old button's face and I really like that old button, so I would not slap it.
What fonts? In my titles and stuff? I will make you a new button because I'm so freaking fantastic.
I don't have anything to say really…but I didn't want you to think I haven't been here…Because I am…I just didn't feel like having to put my caps lock on and fight with people yesterday…
Lexi, I meant to comment on your last post, but since you've written a follow-up I'll put it here instead. I find it incredibly admirable that you've chosen to take a stand the way you've done.The suburban community in which I live is very different from where you and most of your readers live. It's culturally diverse, religiously diverse, and yes, there are lots and lots of gay families. A married gay couple lives across the street from us (they have the nicest house on the block), and a married lesbian couple has enrolled their son in my daughter's preschool class. It's easy to forget that I live in a relatively small, sheltered bubble where this isn't the norm. I'm pro-gay marriage because it seems inherently strange to feel any other way.Speaking up for gay rights feels like no big deal in my daily life; thanks for reminding me that it is a big deal in yours, which makes it even more important that other people who feel the way you do feel free to come forward and say so.
Good for you. You don't need to respond. I do not agree with you about gay marriage, but I believe that all people deserve love and respect and some of the comments you got were terrible. I hate it when I see a picture of protestors holding signs that say things like "God hates —s" I don't know how anyone who knows God could say that, and I hate being lumped into a group with people like that. You're the first one I've ever seen who said it doesn't mean I'm a biggot
Got cut off. So thanks for that.
yep, in your titles and stuff.
Lexi, I didn't get a chance to comment on your other post, because I had to seriously think about this issue and I wanted to give it due diligence. What it comes down to for me is conflict. I know what the Bible says, I know what the majority of Christians that I know say, and then I know what I believe to be true. What it comes down to is that historically speaking we've never gotten anywhere, reaching people for Christ, with hate mongering and fear and persecution. In fact quite the opposite. I do not live in a culturally or even racially diverse area of the country, we don't hear about this issue a whole lot, which is not to say it's not a problem. What I do know is that a persons personal life is just that personal! When my husband told me that my one of my sons teachers is gay I just asked him how he knew that, because I didn't know her previously like he did. It didn't bother me that she was teaching my son, she seemed competent and professional. I know there were other parents who had an issue with this. Not that I'm some kind of saint, I'm not. Plus my son liked her and kids are always the best judges of character. I've seen her and her partner in the community many times and she is always polite and very careful of her actions. She is not openly affectionate with her partner, she doesn't fit any of the stereotypes that we hear about, she's just a person who happens to be gay but unfortunately has to 'blend in' to the community live in. Would I be uncomfortable with a PDA on front of the store? Probably. That's just me being honest. That goes for both straight and gay people though. So to make a long comment shorter…good job standing up for what you believe. The Bible doesn't say the right thing is the easy thing, in fact just the opposite.
Wow! I believe that this comment pretty much says it all.
Lexi, have you read this? http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/the-divine-institution-of-marriage
I believe everything in this statement (above) to be true.
I totally feel you on this! It's not exactly the same, but it is similar to having the views that I have while being in the military. In the military in the south, no less. But they'll get over it. They're just hating on our complex awesomenss.
Lexi,I've been following this avidly since you published the first one. I find myself in agreement with Lance. However, I appreciate so much your perspective and the remarks you have made, as well as the positive dialogue you opened. Thank you. Having attended church with you and knowing you for years I was amused and shocked by the people attacking your parenting or your faith, because they were so far out in left field as to be completely ludicrous. I have always admired your strong, sweet spirit and the courage and tenacity with which you attack life. You are a remarkable woman and I am glad to know you. Keep up the awesome blog. I love it. 😀
Im sorry some people were so mean about your post… i applaud you for writing it and do NOT pay any attention to some of the idiotic remarks people made (wow, unbelievable some of the stuff that was said to you, huh?) You are allowed to express your opinion and did so with respect and class. I agree wholeheartedly with your viewpoint and also am proud and impressed with the manner in which you articulated it. not everyone can express themselves in a non-confrontational way and you did it wonderfully and with love. I loved how you said it's between you and God – i agree and people should stay out of other people's spiritual life and worry about their own. 🙂
This is exactly how I feel, too.
I stumbled upon your blog today and once I started reading it, I couldn't stop! You are so funny and your kids are adorable! When I got to the post about gay marriage, it made me so sad and even sort of scared to see the angry and spiteful comments that some people made. I believe in God but I don't follow any particular religion, mostly because I have seen in the past how religion, which should bring out the BEST in people, often brings out the WORST. I agree with you about gay marriage, and I also think that, while individual churches and religions may have the right to prevent gay marriages from happening in their particular buildings, they should not have the right to prevent any sort of marriages from happening outside of their buildings. Everyone has the right to their own religion and beliefs. But no church or individual has the right to force others to follow the rules of any religion. I work with children, and we always tell them these things: Be kind, worry about your own self, and if you can't say something nice than just don't say anything. Lexi I hope you are able to look at all of the positive and supportive comments people left on your post, and just ignore the handful of nasty ones.
Lexi! First of all, let me say– you are fabulous. So fabulous, in fact, that I'm jealous you're Melissa's best friend and not mine. (I'll get over it. Just give me some space to grieve.)Secondly, did you know that Google autofinished "mostly true stuff" when I typed it in? Yeah. You're that sought-after.But to the point:Wwwwwow. I just read through the original post. And wow. I cannot believe, among many shocking things embedded in the comments, how completely unable so many people were to understand the fine distinction between saying you support the civil allowance of a specific right, v.s. saying you believe all the church leaders are wrong. In the words of Severus Snape, all you rash haters on Lexi's last post, "You have no subtlety, Potter…"I get it, Lexi. And to be honest, I've always felt the same way, but didn't realize it was such a big deal to feel that way. And I'm LDS too. Back when all the Prop 8 stuff was going on, I actually voted to allow gay marriage, because despite my strong belief in the church, the Proclamation of the Family, and our scriptures, I firmly believe, like you, that our government should not be able to dictate this right to some and not others….and that we, as a people of faith, should not be able to force the world into behaving as we see fit.That doesn't change what I feel about the sanctity of marriage… doesn't change how I feel about our church leaders and our prophet (though I'll admit I was a bit miffed about my local church leaders at the time using church time to urge us to vote a specific way…but that's another story)and you know what? I'm still here. A firm believer in the Gospel, holding a temple recommend, and teaching my children all about our faith. I'm sorry people were idiots, I think your husband is quite eloquent, and I can't stop reading your blog. Thanks.
Confession. I'm blog stalking you. Not only did the gay marriage post hit home with me, but so have your posts about your family. I worked in early intervention for kids with autism for a few years and I've just taken a job working with middle/high schoolers with autism. I loved loved loved loved loved my job, the kids I worked with, and their parents (and I'm sure I'll love my new job).Taking a new job has been interesting as a not-so-legal-newly-wed gay man. I'm currently trying to sort through insurance/benefit options for my partner and I. It's been difficult to have positive views towards religions that have actively worked to deny these benefits to me. And for no other reason than their own religious beliefs. I pay into the system at work but I don't get as much back as heterosexual married couples 😦 I can see why many gay/lesbian couples were outraged over the LDS Church (which was the leading Church) with Prop 8. It makes me so happy to see things are changing! And it makes me happy that you are speaking up on this issue — I can't thank you enough.