I need some direction. I’ve been asked to write for a couple of different places this week and everyone said they wanted me to just to write on any topic I would like. Maybe not the best thing because my mind INSTANTLY goes to forcing someone to publish a post I wrote about this sweet llama sweater:
I’d make Melissa buy me one, but it’s sold out.
I’m good at writing the crap that comes to me when I have a funny story to tell, when I’m looking to be passive aggressive or when I feel passionately about something. But when someone TELLS me to write something, I shut down. It’s like when my fantastically funny and excellent and drawing and creating web content cousin (who I am not buttering up because I want him to make my blog not look crappy) Pauly wanted me to write a funny story for an i-phone app. Couldn’t do it. Need direction. For a while he wrote an awesome comic strip based on my Status Updates. Here’s one of them:
Downright awesome, huh? I’m a freaking Narwhal.
Back to the subject at hand. Tell me what to write about. Please? All of the sites are Special Needs in nature.
Also, I’m 2 people away from having my millionth follower (not delusions of grandeur, just terrible at math) so if you’re not following, what the hell is wrong with you? Oh, not a “google” person? Fine. Follow on Facebook. And if you’re not on facebook, you actually don’t legally exist. If effing Noah’s Dad can have 14,000 page followers, I can have 1,000. Have you seen his content? Not hilarious AT ALL! I have more to say about him. That’s how I know I’m pre-“monstrating” (thank you Modern Family). Really. Once a month I write a post about his awful spam tactics and then get all afraid of his minions and don’t post it. When I get the urge to write it, I know my time of the month is only four days away. Or when I think about murdering my husband because of his hiccups, too.These are the signs. These are good for the world to know. (Cue rainbow behind me, “The more you knoooooooow”….)
Digression. Again! I’m going to print this post out for the next shrink I see who needs proof of my ADHD.
What should I write about? What crap would you like my exquisite view on? What turns you on? Don’t answer that one. It’s icky.
Also, if you want me to write for you, send me a gift and I’ll think about it. Like a llama sweater.