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Hypersensitive Mother.

I’m just going to lay this out here right now: If Abby has autism as well, I’m going to spend a good week in Mexico getting drunk in a pool of sharks.

I’ll back up some. She doesn’t. When Abby was born, I thought, “whew, at least it’s NOT autism.” Because autism is hard. For us, it’s been much harder comparing the two years with Abby and the first two years with Casey. MUCH.  Casey regressed about 14 months. Things got worse than they already were.

Abby is nothing like Casey. Nothing. She’s been calm. Cute. Collected. Until now. I’m not going to lie. She’s been pretty bratty. I’m sure it’s just your basic two-year-old-run-of-the-mill-bratty-little-girl-who gets-indulged-WAY-too-much-because-she’s-cute crappiness, but then…

…but then I catastrophize. I make things worse than they are. Much. I think that the reason she’s been so hateful is because she’s regressing. I think the reason my boobs hurt is because I have cancer, and not because I spend several hours a day coaxing them to migrate back where they belong. 

She’s regressing because she’s going to have autism too. Because her freaking chances of having it were already high because she has a sibling with it. Because 10% of children with Down syndrome also have ASD (but, given the new numbers I guess that’s about what a regular kid has going for him these days anyways...).  And I’ve “missed” it so far because I’ve attributed all of her other delays, speech, gross and fine motor, etc, to the Down syndrome.

I’m a crazy person.

In the interest of full disclosure, I did this with Peyton, too. I see autism in everything.

That’s why I need a cat. 

It’s also why you shouldn’t trust a damn thing I say. Ever.

37 thoughts on “Hypersensitive Mother.

  1. if it makes you feel any better, Maren is full of psycho baby rage these days too….she's currently on the kitchen floor shreiking ME! ME! ME! because I had the audacity to fill her cup for her when she asked me too. My bet is it's just standard toddler RAGE.

  2. Oooh I have another rager! The child has a crazy temper, she throws things – she'll throw her cup, even though she wants it, because I didn't give it to her quickly enough. So add me to the list of saying "It's normal!" Although I tend to see autism in everything, too. It's why I'm afraid to have another kid. And we still don't know for sure that my son actually has autism. How's that for hypersensitive?

  3. Oh Lexi, I think I just snorted my soda. My youngest is 2 and OMG I see Autism in her all the time. She flaps==autism. She stomps==autism. She won't speak==autism. Thing is, it's not. She's just being her normal two year old (bratty) self but when the oldest has it and the other two OMG don't, I see it everywhere. How can you not?? But when I look back at my son at this age it was different. Gaw, it was soooo much harder, elusive, mentally exhausting. And cats suck. I have three hermit crabs. (Don't ask) Ya want them? They're much better than cats. As a bonus you can tell everyone you gave your daughter crabs or even better–you have crabs. That—-that never gets old.

  4. I feel validated in my craziness. Thank you!Cats don't suck. Don't ruin the dream for me. One, because it will never happen, and two, because I need something for which to be mad at my husband for. He won't let me have a cat.I would buy crabs just to say that I had them. For reals.

  5. I do the same thing. There are days when I am CONVINCED that my 3 yo has autism. And you know his main symptom? Rage. It is making me feel better reading your post and other people's comments. Maybe he's okay, after all. It's so hard, once you have one kid on the spectrum, not to see it everywhere, especially in your other kids. I totally get this post! So, so much.

  6. I keep thinking about going back to school and becoming a psychologist so I could diagnose. But then one day, I'd end up at a park somewhere trying to convince someone that their dog was autistic.

  7. Oooh, and he's like the size of a fourteen year old, so that's super fun! I just saw your last post. You're freaking cute. He is, too. But you're all cute pregnant and stuff.

  8. dude–i am a catastrophist as well–with a similar boob issue. I swear they got the mammogram all wrong. and every time i have difficulty breathing? lung cancer. (and not the fact i live nxt to a freeway in los angeles)sorry your lil one might be going through the "i'm cute and being a brat" phase. Mine (with autism) has beein going through that for a year now. damn cute tyrant. *sips cocktail*

  9. It would be! But I don't know, he's improved with his IU class but he's still delayed in most things, except mechanical skills. He's my little engineer. And social skills are rough, literally. Lots of pushing, hugging, getting in people's faces, and still not dealing so well with crowds. Our current dx's are speech disorder that I always forget the name of, and SPD. BUT (And this is where my confusion comes in) I've talked to a couple of ppl recently, one with a degree in Psych, and one a caseworker in my state. They both told me I should be seeing a neuro, not a pediatrician, for a definitive answer. So now I'm not sure what to do or think… some days I see it and am ready to call the neuro, and other days I'm not.

  10. Speech delays plus social issues? That's SO tough. My two other boys were both SIGNIFICANTLY speech delayed, but it came out in the wash. Now I can't get them to STOP talking. We had Casey's formerly done by a pediatric developmental neurologist (I bet he's fun at parties). But I'm not sure if you should. I mean, right now, unless a diagnosis is going to get you access to better services, you're doing everything right. And if he's on the fence now, think in a couple of years he could be "all caught up" and the big things might become smaller. You just never know.SPD is tough on it's own. Have you been to the SPD BLogger Network? It's off to the side there ——>They have fantastic writers talking about SPD issues and whatnot. And I'm not just saying that because my article is going up on the 20th. ahahahaha

  11. When I got done reading your post, I said out loud, "Oh thank GOD!" I have at one point or another diagnosed our ENTIRE family – including myself – with some ASD issue. I feel like I see it EVERYWHERE. And, I'd be with you on the boob thing, but I just had a mammogram two days ago, so they are sore because they were smashed in a vice about the temperature of an igloo in the Antarctic.

  12. Congrats on the article! I haven't visited there but I'll check it out, thanks. 🙂 You described my thoughts exactly. What will it benefit him at this point? We're doing all we can right now, with the exception of some OT that he'd qualify for if he got a formal ASD dx. At this point I think I'm going to wait another year or so, until he's ready for school, and reconsider then.My almost 2 year old daughter is starting to talk, although she's a little behind, but not significantly. Everyone keeps telling me "My kids took awhile to talk and now I wish they'd stop!" But I can't wait for that day. (Of course I say that NOW…)Right now most days I feel like I have two 2 year olds because they're on the same level in just about everything.Can't wait to read your article! You have a way of making everything funny and touching and awesome. Even swimming with sharks.

  13. Don't get too excited. I'm pretty sure it's just my post on Where The Wild Things Are being like autism. But that site is a super good resource for parents who are kind of swimming through the much you are.

  14. Not offended at all. I take great pride in his size. It's not fun when he throws that weight around (literally) during his fits but I love to squish on him when he's being sweet.

  15. ME ME ME ME ME ME!I'm now screaming my lungs out (with the cancer that I may have…), rolling on the floor and feeling the same thingie!!! I'm a "cathastro-brat" of this all. And my son 3yo with ds, he MUST have some other issues. Must. And my hubby. He's computer-autistic. For SURE 😀 and and and… so forth on.Just want to say, that this is a world wide pandemia. It's here in Finland too!ps. I just loooooooooooooooove your blog.

  16. Computer autistic. That's just fantastic. I think all of my boys are as well. Vinkean, I try to get on your blog with "google translate" and it makes it so funny and barely readable. THAT SUCKS! I do get a lot of trafffic from your blog- so thanks for that! Really.And you saying you love my blog with lots of "oooos" in love IS like crack to me. It's going to get me through this day.

  17. I hear you, Lexi. I do it with cancer. My husband had cancer three years ago and it has completely tweaked me. Every headache is a brain tumor, every ache or pain is cancer. And that's just me. If he's got something weird (or run of the mill) going on, I'm convinced it's his cancer returned and metastasized.This is one of the reasons I drink. Umm, ya know, when I'm not on the nest.

  18. I can't stop this laughter; I translated my latest blogpost with google-translate. For-the-love-of-God; it's hilarious… hysterical! InSaNe! (What the heck is "retro spiritual casket??!!?" – I blogged about my new sideboard that I found, it's from the 50's!!!.. Retrospiritual, new kind of a religion? Buhahahahahahah…)maybe I'll try to sob some small chapters of my blog in english? Just the headpoints? With my barely readable english… I did my studies in english, but it's been so many years… My blog is one of the most read "kids with special needs"-blogs in Finland, so that's why you get traffic! And that's a good thing – 'cause we here, in distant land of santa and snow (BUT NO POLARBEARS OR IGLUS), need to expand our view. To your life 😀 Honestly, things are good here,really good, for our kids.

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