Down syndrome

The Choice.

At first, I wasn’t going to write a post about Down syndrome for World Down Syndrome Day 2012. Because EVERY parent who has a child with Down syndrome and a blog (so basically every parent...) is writing something for the day. Why should I write? What difference would it make?

Then I thought about why I write at all. A Modest Mouse song says,

 “You don’t know where and you don’t know when.
But you still got your words and you got your friends.
Walk along to another day.
Work a little harder, work another way.”

Because when all else fails, when life is tough, when I feel like I’m not making a difference I hear those words. “But you still got your words and you got your friends…work a little harder…”

I want to act like this blog is just for me. That I’m putting all of this time and effort into it so I can have a record for my posterity. That is a part of it. But the other part is this: I want to show people that if someone like me can handle having two kids with special needs- that anyone can handle one child with Down syndrome. I try to be as honest as I can.  I want you to see that life can be  great even if it’s tough at times.   And that my kids, the ones with special needs and the one’s without, are the same in their value and worth to the world. That every child, every person, has worth and can change the world.  That life can be great no matter what you are faced with.

I want people to know this because many soon-to-be mothers are facing the choice as to whether or not to keep their baby who has just been diagnosed with Down syndrome.   Most of these women (90 percent) abort for a whole host of reasons, but the top two I’ve heard is that they don’t think they can handle it and that they don’t want their child to suffer

There is a line from a the song Timshell by Mumford and Sons that says:

You have a choice. You may not have a choice as to what life brings, but you have the choice as to how to deal with it. Those who are pregnant have the choice to keep these wonderful children. And the only thing that is going to tip the scales in the favor of having a child with Down syndrome is the knowledge of the joy that comes with it as well as the understanding that you don’t have to be a special person to have a special child. That narrative is false.

Have I not proved that to you yet?

These kids come to MAKE US special. They give us the choice to be great… they are our very ladder to the stars.

Please help me today to reach that woman who is making The Choice. Please help me and ALL of the other people who blog about Down syndrome to change the perception about having a child with Down syndrome (or any other disability, really).  Please share our stories.  There are fun little “share” buttons below if you want to share my blog.  Or, here are some other Blogs that I feel are very share- worthy ( probably even more-so than mine):

Holly’s House: Not a Perfect Mom’s Blog (it does contain some salty language)

These are just SOME of my favorites. There are zillions more that are just as fantastic, I’m sure. One way you can find them is the blog hop over at With A Little Moxie.

And for anyone who thinks that Abby suffers from Down syndrome, I submit to you this video

Please, please share. Show your friends. Show your families. If people know how good life can be, it would really be no choice at all. And that’s the goal.

40 thoughts on “The Choice.

  1. I love how my blog comes with a warning! ha!and I almost didn't post today either…I had a hard time being organic…I hate when I feel like it's forced…but finally I got something out…and Abby? is a doll..she must get it from her rock star mama

  2. Dude, it's because of all of the Mormons. Remember? (picture me jabbing you in the side and whispering that like I'm totally not one of "them")Your blog post today is amazing. It tore my guts out. I need new guts. What blood type are you?Seriously. I love your blog because it shows that your whole world doesn't need to be this Down syndrome blah blah blah blah EVERY MINUTE EVERY DAY type thing. That life goes on. And it's hilarious. (oh bla dee?)

  3. I love the video. I love how much Abby smiles, I think she is beautiful. I was smiling the whole time I was watching the video.I don't like to do what everyone else is doing. I still haven't seen the movie the Titanic just because everyone raved about it and watched it over and over again. My stubborn streak comes out when it come to things like that so I wasn't sure if I wanted to post today or not because every one else was probably doing it. That doesn't mean I wasn't going to do something to celebrate this day. I still haven't yet. I will write something though; because how could I not let everyone know how much I love my little girl and how much joy and love she has brought into my life?

  4. That one time changed your whole world. It didn't even bother me that much. People don't know better until they are told. For reals. And that was like four thousand years ago? Right? I love that you are doing it, though. It gives me goosebumps.

  5. This video shows us why we do what we do in this world….we are here to make life a good thing for our children (And for others in our life). How could someone NOT love Abby??? She is so much more than just a child…..she is a beautiful creation………

  6. Natalie, that's seriously why I almost didn't write. But then I realized that all sixteen people who read this blog aren't all members of our awesome club. The other four are here because I force them. But that's four readers that some other blog doesn't have, and maybe one of them will be able to help change the mind of someone else.

  7. Anonymous is no better. How am I supposed to hunt you down if I don't know who you are? Thank you for the comment. Seriously. Abby is a beautiful creation. I like those words.

  8. I read the books. They are overrated. The sixth one made me feel homicidal rage towards Stephanie Meyer. She freaking phoned it in. Did you read the Hunger Games though? I liked the first one. You know what's overrated? Bras.

  9. Cheryl. You ALWAYS do what I tell you. Now fly up here so we can hang out. Thank you for being such a constant support to whatever I do. You amaze me.

  10. Loved the video and post!! Thank you. I'm not a Ds mom, nor one of the "forced" but I have my own reasons for following, one of is, to find fault in something you do!!! Ughh, nothing so far!!

  11. "These kids come to MAKE US special. They give us the choice to be great… they are our very ladder to the stars." It really couldn't be said any better! Abby is beautiful and I love reading about her triumphs.

  12. So beautiful!"That every child, every person, has worth and can change the world." and "These kids come to MAKE US special." Such powerful words! Whenever I see mothers who have been blessed and trusted with the task of raising a child with special needs, I think how highly God must think of them. That's you. 🙂 Stopping by from PYHO.

  13. Still nothin, you think I'm a hypocrit. . . .Not I!! you are amazingly fun and one day I'd like to pick your brain about "adult" autism, didn't have the knowledge 10 years ago I have now, but struggling with how to transfer that to work, college and living away from home. Any, someday!

  14. I love the line about our kids making us special. I'm going to steal that one from you. One of my friends just found out that her baby has down syndrome. I was so proud of her for saying that God gave her this baby and that he will be a wonderful son. It never even crossed her mind not to have him. I love that about her. When I found out my son had Cerebral Palsy I was a mess! I thought I couldn't handle it and that I wouldn't be able to cut it as his mom. I should have had more faith in me, he made me a better mom.

  15. You're amazing, and Abby is beautiful. ❤ Your blog makes me laugh and cry more than any other! Thanks for accomplishing both in one post. 😉

  16. Dude. I was a total mess when Casey was diagnosed. I think you should be or your not human. He is what prepared me to be okay with Abby. I sort of wish I wasn't human on days where I only want to eat and sleep.

  17. Just found your blog through your Facebook page, through another Facebook page that I connected with on my Autism related Facebook page (got all that!?!). I love the way you write, and I love what you say! Your daughter is beautiful! I've read a few of your post tonight, and I will be back when more coherent! Just want to say I agree wholeheartedly that our kids make us special… before parenting my two Autistic kids I never knew how strong, resourceful, persistent, etc, etc, etc I could be. And I am so very grateful for them.

  18. I'm not sure but I think I found your blog through Holly at Not A Perfect Mom's Blog and i've been rerading and reading as procrastination from my revision! I don't really cry much but so many TEARS at this video. She is so happy.

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