My brother’s awful beard.

Have you seen it? It’s terrible. The dude is a NEWLYWED. They’ll never reproduce with a beard like that! This is Abby’s reaction to him in NOVEMBER, keep in mind, that was MONTHS ago. It’s much, much worse:

Here’s how it looks now:

I’m pretty sure he’s routinely asked about being Amish and the TSA will no longer let him fly.

I was all for the beard in the beginning. He was growing it out to rub it all over my sister’s face when he saw her at Christmas. But Christmas was over 2 months ago. The damn beard has taken off a life of it’s own. And I fear that.

So he’s FINALLY shaving it! I’m pretty sure when he does, it’ll growl at him and break loose through a window. As long as it’s not attached to his face, I really don’t care. And I don’t think Abby will either.  But he’s doing something else…he’s allowing people to pick how he’s going to shave it. Check it out here:   His awesome (hot) wife wrote about it on her blog here:

Peltonia is an awesome organization. They organize rides and all proceeds…ALL (like 100%) go towards cancer research.  Let’s talk about cancer for a second.  My dad (whose birthday is today…) died from colon cancer when I was 13.  His mother died from pancreatic cancer. My sister was diagnosed with lymphoma four years ago.  Her story is here (she really needs to blog again…)  Abby has a much higher chance (about 10 to 15x) of having leukemia than non-chromosomally enhanced children. The geneticist that Abby saw said that my siblings and I have a much greater chance of developing colon cancer ourselves because my father died so young and want to test us for that gene mutation. My sister in law has the BRCA cancer gene mutation.  There just isn’t a way to escape it. But there is a way to do something about it.

And my brother is.

And with everything he does, he’s hilariously doing it. If you’ve been too lazy to go to the sites I’ve posted before, long story short, he’s letting us, the donors, vote for how he shaves his beard.

 So go and donate. I can’t tell you which to vote for because this is a democracy dammit, but I’m quite partial to the friendly mutton chops or NOTHING AT ALL.  Even if it’s just freaking five bucks. Everything helps. It all goes to cancer research.

As an added incentive, in the coming days I’m going to be moving all of my link lists to blogs from my sidebar to under their respective pages (the buttons under the Mostly True Stuff picture up top). So NO ONEs blogs are going to be on the side. If you’ve been getting traffic from MTS, you can see how valuable having your blog there can be. So for anyone who donates at least $5, leave your website or blog in the comment section and you and ONLY you will be featured in my sidebar as one of my most favorite people ever. If you don’t have a blog, I’ll post a picture of you. Wear something revealing, please.  Wanna wanna?

If you don’t hate cancer like we do, that’s fine. Like bringing orphans home?  I’m giving the same opportunity for those who donate to the Willis Family Adoption. Go HERE and donate to their puzzle. You’ll have your name on their puzzle and HERE on my blog.  If you have already donated to them, PLEASE let me know via email.

What else can I do to get you to donate? Name it.

14 thoughts on “My brother’s awful beard.

  1. Okay. . . so first of all you should know that there *IS* such a thing as having 'too many' blogs. Second of all, I think your brother should donate his beard to locks of love so that amish children going through chemo can get their beards back, or alternatively, children who are desirous of extremely kinky hair can make a wig out of it.Funny reaction to the beard. I grow mine (but cut if really short) every winter, and never noticed that either kid cared one way or the other for it. Of course, not having a scary Mountain Man beard might make all the difference, I probably looked more like "daddy with a five o'clock shadow" moreso than "uncle sasquatch"

  2. Hahah. Nice Lex. Thanks! More and more the kids at church come up to me and call me Jesus so perhaps it isn't a bad thing. Pelotonia is a great program. 100% goes to cancer research. Take that cancer!

  3. Poor Abby. I want to donate just so she won't be mortally afraid of her own uncle. Give me until Friday and I will gladly make a donation. Also, I don't want to lose my button on your sidebar because I am completely self-absorbed and narcissistic.

  4. Your blog post wins. And even though #2 & 7 are my picks, I hope the no beard wins so Abby will love him come Friday. I am scared of what the face may look like once revealed- hopefully not dry, flaky, and broken out.

  5. Funny story–around Christmas time I also had an epic beard and was driving Jamey to the airport. It was 4:30 am and we were going a little faster than the speed limit and happened to get pulled over. I think we worried the officer a bit. He asked if I'd had any priors (I hadn't), and then asked as second time, "Are you sure?" The officer was kind and let us go with a warning after he checked to make sure I wasn't lying. Though Jamey was probably flagged and watched closely on the plane…And Addie, plan on dry, flaky, and broken out. Not that I'm speaking from experience.

  6. Is the "too many" blogs a nod to the fact that I told you that I would secede (is that the correct term? I can't remember. You're stealing my powers) all of my blog followers to you? I'm getting to it aaaahahgghghggg. Brat. They just don't tell you about your beard because they're effing afraid of you. I forgot about the word "moreso" I'm going to use it in a sentence. Thanks for stopping by, Jim.

  7. Maybe that's what it is. Abby hates Jesus. That worries me some.100%. Can any other group boast that high a percentage? I hate cancer. Not as much as some would think, though. There are a few people I would love to get it.That's the worst thing I've ever said. Ever. Even in jest. Ever.

  8. Sunday, there was a good chance that I was going to donate FOR YOU if you didn't because I really need your blog in my sidebar. Gives me street cred….

  9. Yes, I'm holding my sidebar hostage. But it was going to go either way. So why not make some dough for good causes if I can? See how nice I am? I'm nice. Kay. Still sort of a whore. Either way, donate.

  10. my pleasure. No, it's more a nod to not having any idea which blog to follow you back to (never end your sentences with a preposition, but if you do, just add something in parentheses). You have twelve listed. TWELVE!

  11. There's been a 58.3% drop in the number of blogs listed under your name. You don't mess around.Btw, I vote Zappa for your brother. It's the most badass.

  12. Seriously. I thought you were talking about the blogs in my sidebar and I was concerned about your counting skills because there were way more than 12. Then I realized you were talking about the blogs I had started during various mania episodes that I then slowly let die a painful death. It makes me feel powerful. If you donated, lemme know. I will make you a virtual shrine right in my sidebar.

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