I hate long winded posts that aren’t illustrated. I hate myself so much right now. Sorry suckers.

this looks like my screw. i stole it from the internet.

Sometimes I think that “weeks like these are 1 in a million.” Not really. I have crazy week after crazy week. But this week was especially crazy. I had an implant put in on Monday. Not the good kind that would pull the skin that I used to call my boobs out from under my armpits and arrange it nicely in front of me, where it belongs, but the kind where you pay about as much to have a screw drilled into your jaw. It was fun. I got a guilt-free high out of it though. I figured all sorts of crap out while on the laughing gas. I called Melissa soon after to tell her how I had solved all of the worlds’ problems. I’m not sure she understood what I was saying because I had gauze in my mouth (not “God.” Have you seen that Youtube video? It’s awesome). I wish she had taken notes, because I can’t remember at all what I told her.

Then I got this fantastic comment on my blog that had NOTHING TO DO WHATSOEVER with anything I wrote basically bashing my religion. Did you see that?  So I wrote my post and then put the link up on Facebook for you jerks who ask me to do so.  And because about half of my facebook friends aren’t LDS,  I thought it would clear the air. It more than anything stirred the pot.  What followed was a painfully frustrating “chat” on my facebook wall. I ended up just wanting to bang my head against the wall. But it’s metaphorical. Or cyberphorical. It’s not an actual wall. So I couldn’t.   Long story short, I may or may not have someone who wants me dead (and not just so they can baptize me into their own religion). I unfriended this person and got a whole string of hateful emails calling me thin-skinned and saying that I discriminate against people who are not my religion (among other really fun accusations). That made me a little sad. Because I hope that’s not the case. I couldn’t really care less what religion someone is. I care what kind of person they are.

But either way, I TOTALLY discriminated against her, because I have my full share of batshitcrazy people in my life that I’m FORCED to deal with (namely myself…). The ones that I don’t have to deal with, I probably won’t. I choose my battles.

I prefer the ones with light sabers. Or cats. Or a combination of the two.

Abby’s been sick since Monday. Full-on buckets of snot sick. But her breathing hadn’t been too terrible. Tuesday night she was struggling a little bit, so Lance and I took turns staying up with her to make sure she was breathing* (*read: “didn’t die suddenly”).    Wednesday night was awful. I kept waiting to see if I needed to take her to emergency, but she was responding to the steroids and the albuterol so I thought we were in the clear. Plus, I absolutely hate going to the ER, having them give her steroids and albuterol and sending us on our way. Perfect way to waste time and expose Abby to all sorts of disgusting illnesses.

Thursday morning she was still very sick. Casey woke up with a fever as well. I made an appointment for Abby for 11:15, but by 10:45 she had really gone downhill. She had stopped responding to the albuterol and her fever was high despite my best efforts to keep it down. I rushed her over to the pediatrician. I was the crazy mom that cut in front of people and yelled at the nurses. I think they saw the look of desperation on my face because everyone just moved aside and the nurses started scrambling. It was even worse than I thought. Her oxygen sats were in the low 80s. We weren’t there five minutes before the doctor called for an ambulance. The ambulance got there quick, which was good because the office couldn’t get their oxygen tank to work. SEVEN EMT’s showed up. They got her name, scooped her up and ran her down to the ambulance.

My head was spinning. I couldn’t get the right phone numbers to show up on my phone. Fortunately, my neighbor and good friend Annette goes to the same practice, and they were able to get her on the phone for me. She’s awesome. She sprung right into action. She ran over to tell the aide that was with Casey what was going on and went back to take care of him until Lance got back from D.C. I called Heather M. from my ward and she was calm enough to be my brain while I was in the ambulance with Abby. I realized that I brought my car keys with me in the ambulance, so she met us at the hospital to get the keys, picked Lance up, drove him to the pediatrician’s office to get the car. So freaking glad she was there.

The ambulance got to the children’s hospital in record time. I’ve driven to that area on my own; it’s amazing the difference in time it takes when you have sirens. I want sirens. Maybe that’s why Casey screams everywhere he goes.

We got there and they started all of the regular tests, more oxygen, and were waiting to see if she would need to be moved to intensive care or just “the floor”. I had gotten a hold of Melissa and my mother and asked them to let my family know what was going on and asked them to pray.  Prayer works. Sometimes it’s just to calm the soul. Sometimes miracles happen very quickly. We were lucky to have Abby do a 180 in the short time we were at the hospital. I’ve never seen anything like it with her. She went from being barely responsive and having a 105 (one hundred and FIVE! Not one hundred POINT five) degree temperature in the ambulance as well as not being able to take in enough oxygen on her own to being up and around without a fever and breathing on her own in less than two hours.

I hadn’t eaten all day. My hands had stopped shaking from the stress of it all and had begun to shake because of the low blood sugar. Just as I was about to snarf down another bag of disgusting fruit snacks I had dug up from the bottom of my purse Annette and Melissa R. showed up with a big bag of food for me. I freaking love them. So much. They both are nurses themselves, and neither of them scoffed at me when I started to feed Abby french fries. I’m pretty sure that’s a big reason why she got feeling a little better so quickly. French fry cure.

The steroids they gave her made her super jittery. You can see in the picture that her hand was moving so fast that it blurred. She was beating the heck out of that drum with the hand that had the IV cast on it. 

Soon after they left we were able to go home. Lance brought Casey to come get me. At that point, Casey’s fever was really high and he wouldn’t walk. So Lance had to carry him out to the car. On the way out, Lance tripped and Casey hit his head on the ground. We were worried for a while that he had a concussion. Hard to tell because his head hurt badly to begin with.

I had been fine FINE until I got into the car with Lance. Then I had my quick breakdown and tears. They didn’t last. The back seat of my car is DISGUSTING. I never go back there. But I wanted to sit by Abby. So my stress from the day quickly turned into white-hot rage as I found Carter’s half-eaten hamburger in the back pocket of my seat. Anger is a MUCH easier emotion to deal with.

Abby’s doing okay now. She’s still very sick. It ended up being pneumonia again.  I’m not sure if we are in the clear yet to not need to be hospitalized. And the poor thing is just terribly uncomfortable. Her nose is so raw from us wiping it off and sucking it out so much that it bleeds when we wipe a little too hard. Her throat is raw and her voice is really raspy.  If you could keep her in your prayers just for a little while longer I’d appreciate it so much.

The day ended much better than it began. The Hoskins came! They are moving to the Richmond area and came to find a house. They flew in up here so they could spend time with the ones they love the most… it was really nice having them here after such a crazy day. We laugh hard. We make fun of each other. Erin lectures me about wearing vertical stripes and being a nerd. It’s a beautiful relationship.

 
I can’t find the cord to my camera or I’d post the better picture I took- it fully captured how crazy long Erin’s tongue is.

Alas, the week isn’t over yet. I’m taking Abby and Casey back to the pediatrician’s office today.  To recheck Abby, to check out Casey, and to make sure that they’ve implemented the changes they promised me about the oxygen in their office. It really bothered me that they couldn’t get it to work. We were super lucky that the ambulance got there so freaking fast. And they are, too. A doctor’s office that doesn’t have functioning oxygen?! They are a fantastic group of doctors, and mistakes happen. I just want to make sure they have some safeguards in place so that doesn’t happen again. That could have been much worse all the way around.