confessions · I'm so funny? · pinterest

You googled it, nerds.

It’s fun to see where the traffic is coming from on my blog. The best is the google search terms that are used to bring people here. A couple KEEP COMING UP. So I figured I’d just address them all in one place.

1. I am not the Mormon Kelle Hampton. I’m not.  Is that what you were referring to? Probably not. Kelle Hampton is NOT Mormon. Or LDS.  I do not know her or Mitt Romney (he’s dashing, don’t you think?). Also, though her blog is LOVELY (and she does MANY MANY great things with her notoriety) , we have NOTHING in common. Okay, 1 thing, and it’s not fantastic bangs. My bangs suck.  Her kids are super cute and if you love her, you should. If you don’t, email me and tell me why. I’m interested. Because I see nothing but perfection. She’s living the dream. And that sort of bothers me.

2. I didn’t get fat after we stopped dating. You know who you are. I got fat after something inside me died and I stopped caring so much.

3. This is a cute ninja kitten:

It’s not MY ninja kitten. I have one. Why don’t you ever see it? Because it’s a damn ninja!

I stole this picture from this site:

Did you know there are many pictures of cats online? I’m pretty sure that sites devoted to cats come second in number on the internet to sites devoted to porn. So it makes them the 1%. Kittehs.

3. No joke, in my ALL TIME section of hits- this comes in tenth: Max and Ruby. Why? Because a LONG LONG time ago I hypothesized that their parents got ate. I had a picture. I haven’t heard the end of it since. Tell me then, where are their parents? They’re rabbits! If they were still alive Max and Ruby would have five thousand siblings. But it’s just the two of them. They’re dead. Get over it.

4. Fried Chicken. Again, not kidding. One time I posted a picture of fried chicken and the American Flag. Keeps ’em coming back. Fried chicken is AMERICAN. And delicious.

5. Fluffy Tutu Tutorial. Thanks for stopping by, crafters, because I have the only free tutorial on how to make a SEWN tutu for free on the internet. You’re jerks and are only here for one thing. Then you go on your way and forget all about me. I hate you so much right now.

6. Then there’s the rest of the hits that come from crap pinned to pinterest from this blog. That makes me supremely happy. I love pinterest. Have you seen this one on pinterest?

I fixed it:

Much better.

Aaaand you’re welcome.


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10 thoughts on “You googled it, nerds.

  1. OK. Let's play a game. I get my hits from crap like "are elephants unisex," "slowly take off clothes" and "wardrobe blog for stay at home mom." My most popular include "redcoats on horses" and (i kid you not) "%". Because I am the only one who uses the percent sign.But I think "Mormon Kelle Hampton" wins.Also, why don't you know Mitt?

  2. Go to your blogger dashboard (the orange button at the top left hand corner of your blog). Click on "Stats" for your blog. Then click on "traffic sources". So much fun.

  3. So much fun. (That "I can do hard things" saying just feels way too much like a "That's what she said" set-up.) I changed "friend chicken" to "fried chicken" for you, because contextually, it just makes more sense. But "friend chicken" is happy, like a Bob Ross painting, or Bambi–"Good morning, friend chicken!"

  4. I'm jealous…yours and Megan's are much worse than mine. My strangest is "being gentle"….hmmm. Ahhh…Max & Ruby and the mystery of their parents 🙂

  5. Mine arefirst+trimester+screening+or+maternit21osteogenesis imperfecta in eyematernit21 resultsnegative effects maternit21reeces rainbow presleyreeces rainbow, juris and vilisstars being alignedthe idea of a completelyNot very fun. and Max and Ruby well don't get me started on that show…or Caillou

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