Let’s get this out of the way. She IS, in fact, the cutest thing ever. Right? Right. Now back to me.
Could you freaking imagine how cute this picture would be if my camera didn’t SUCK? Yeah. I’m forty something followers from meeting my goal and getting my camera. If you aren’t following yet, I figure it’s just because you DON’T want me to get a camera because you’re crazy scared that once I post better pictures of my children, there will be no more need for you to post pictures of your own kids because mine are so beautiful. That, or you’re really scared to see what I look like in high definition. I’m with you on that. It’s not good. It’s really not good.
Or maybe you’re just afraid that I’ll stop drawing pictures to express myself. I haven’t drawn a picture for you in a long time, and I can see how that absence would make further absences something to be afraid of indeed.
I could probably just go buy one. With the money that I will have saved us in the last couple of months doing all of this medical care crap for Abby I can more than justify it. But I spent it on cinnamon hearts and orphans (I didn’t buy an orphan. I thought about it. But it’s against the law).
I don’t even know why followers even matter to me. Maybe it’s because I see you more like minions and I’ve got some BIG PLANS for us in store. And every minion puts me one step closer to doing something awesome.
And to be perfectly honest, the more followers I get, the more it pisses someone off. Someone I LOVE pissing off. For no other reason, please. Be a horrible person with me. If you’re worried that the person I’m being stupid amounts of passive aggressive to is you, you shouldn’t be. It’s not you. I promise. I love you. You’re my favorite. It’s that other dude that is killing me. SO SLOWLY. And it’s not really even someone I associate with. Ugh. I’d just tell you, but I really dig playing on your insecurities. And your narcissism. You’re so vain. You probably think this post is about you, don’t you? F. I’m going to have that stuck in my head all night.
It’s sad that I’m asking. My content should be enough for you to stop being so damn lazy and clicking that “follow” button. But it’s seriously lacking. I get that. I’d change it to be more appealing to the masses, but I’m not THAT dead inside…yet.