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Primary Childrens Hospital

We’re still here. Abby is doing great. She’s off all oxygen. They just want to watch her to make sure that she doesn’t have another episode- especially because we’re going to be traveling back to Washington in the next couple of days. We should be able to leave tomorrow.

Have you been to a Childrens Hospital? They suck  a lot. I laugh at people who think life should be “fair”. I hate that word. If life was fair, there would be no hospitals just for babies and kids. There would be no need for tiny toilets and low faucets in the bathrooms. There would be no tiny instruments or tiny babies covered in wires.

There would be no parents looking so tired and so sad. The other day I was watching a lady at the side of her son’s crib. I could see her from where I was by Abby’s crib. I watched as she laid her head on the side of the crib and closed her eyes. I thought that maybe she was praying. Maybe she was trying to get some much needed sleep. Then I watched as her face crumbled and she began to cry. She buried it in her tiny boy’s pillow pet. He was hidden under a Cpap machine and wires. I felt lucky.  I watched the news while Abby was sleeping on my lap and saw a story about a boy who had almost drowned. That boy was down the hall. Again, I felt lucky. Things could be so much worse. They always can be so much worse. (Don’t you ever say that to me, because I’d kill you, but I’m just saying)

I’m pretty sick of these trials. The refiners fire is hottttt (said in a whiny voice while stomping my feet). But I know that I’ve always come out on the other end of them a little bit stronger, though a little bit more tired, and a little bit more aware of people around me. Being here at the hospital, watching the tired faces and the sick children has made me want to do more. I’m not sure what more is, but I’ll figure that out. Like this morning. In the lobby a young man was playing a violin. It was such a peaceful, wonderful way to enter a place that can be so hectic and sad.  There’s always something you can do. That’s why God has given us talents. To use them to serve others.

This morning after the doctors had rounds and told us that they were keeping her longer I was a little sad. It’s totally the right decision, but I was just a little bit deflated because I was SO excited to bring her home. Lance handed me a card that someone had dropped off. I opened it to find that Tandy, someone I don’t really know but who reads this blog, had stopped by and left a card saying that she was thinking about us with a card to Cafe Rio (I LOVE Cafe Rio!!!). It’s hard for me to be on the receiving end of so much service. It makes me uncomfortable. I’d love to be the one giving it, but I’m pretty sure I’m not as cool as the people are to me. But being in the position that I’m in has shown me how really wonderful people are. People who do because they are good people. Who love and serve- even those they don’t know. Without any expectation of what they would get in return.

So grateful. So grateful for everyone who has and is helping us through the tough times. Everything you do I appreciate, whether I remember to mention it- or whether I end up sending you that damn “thank you” card. I suck at sending those. I feel bad. I feel bad about it every time someone compliments the blanket my Aunt Marty lovingly pieced together for me. Or every time I put on an outfit that Melanie gave Abby. I didn’t even mention them a couple of posts ago when I said she had a huge wardrobe. A third of it came from Melanie. I suck.  But I think about you. I think about all of you who pray for her or who have put her or my name in the temple. I think about everyone who gives us support, whether it’s just simply a smile when I’m trying to help Casey get through a meltdown at church to something huge like giving Lance your free airline ticket so he could come out here to be with me (thanks Bishop). Or someone who is forgiving when I totally space an appointment or flake out on going out, or for not sending that “thank you” card that you totally deserved.

As good as you nerds are to me in Washington, I’m super glad I was here this time. It was nice to be here this time she got sick. It’s nice having family around. Casey adores his uncle Travey (and now is absolutely in love with Travis’s sister in law, Amy) and it was nice leaving them some place that he’s so happy.  I haven’t even mentioned Casey in all of this! He’s been SOOOO good this whole trip. It’s been AWESOME. He’s had a couple of TINY meltdowns, but they were seriously nothing. Such a blessing!

I said before that Children’s’ss’ss Hospitals suck. Parts of them do. But not all. Definitely not all. There’s a sweet feeling here. I’m pretty sure these hospitals are frequented by angels. What better place for them to be than by the beds of Heaven’s best little ones? The staff is always great and super loving. I’d rather NOT be here, but if I have to, at least there’s some sweetness that comes along with it. 

Anyways, Abby is still sleeping so maybe I will try to nap, too. Or watch the end of this STUPID movie that’s playing in the background. We’ll see. Thanks again for all of your love, prayers and support.

6 thoughts on “Primary Childrens Hospital

  1. Lexi, I enjoyed meeting you at Addie and Jamey's wedding. I watched you from afar the whole weekend and was memorized by your energy and enthusiasm for life, love, family and parenting. I have a few cute pictures of Addie and Abby. I'm sure Melanie took some to but I will email a few to you. You and Abby are in our thoughts and prayers.Love, Rachelle

  2. Lexi,I read your previous post first and bawled. And I didn't even cry at my own wedding. But I cried for you and for Abby, and then I prayed for you both. I'm so glad that she's recovering.<3BethanyPS I need to remember what you said about the refiner's fire, because sometimes in the midst of the heat I forget that I'll be stronger for it, that there's a purpose. Which makes dealing with it a little easier, somehow. Like childbirth – the most painful thing EVER but so worth it in the end.

  3. I'm so sorry to hear about poor Abby's illness and everything you guys have gone through in the last couple of days. I can't imagine how terrifying that must have been. It's heartening to read about your amazing support network. You're in my thoughts!Lindsay

  4. I would have really enjoyed meeting you, but it was 9:45 before I was able to get there the other night and I didn't want to bother you. I was also worried it would see a bit stalkerish. I know what you mean about children's hospitals. I felt that way when my twins spent some time in the NICU at PCMC. It was such a stressful and emotionally overwhelming time, but a neat experience too. I later did my pediatric clinicals there and went back to feeling like it's awful that places like that have to exist. I'm so happy that Abby is doing so much better!

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