You really don’t have to read this. I just needed to get it out.

I’m not going to lie (at least not right now). I’m in a terrible mood. If it weren’t that I had two kids at home today, I probably wouldn’t have gotten out of bed.  I just don’t understand how things work out sometimes.

We’ve been working with Bank of America (I hate you) for over six months to get the interest rate on our mortgage lowered.  We didn’t initially qualify because we weren’t paying more than 30% of our income for our mortgage. But there’s a “hardship”clause that we were sure would help us to qualify. It would include our medical bills as the hardship. So we turned in everything. Reciepts for the thickener, a list of all of the prescriptions we’ve paid for over the last six months, therapy costs etc. I was sure that there was no way a human being could look at what we are paying for and not qualify us to get a discount.

But I’m pretty sure the people at Bank of America are not human beings. At least not the ahole underwriter who didn’t even take into account our medical costs when he denied us yesterday.

Our house six years ago when we moved in.

Denied. Here we are. Lance has a good job. But it’s a job for the government and because of the recession they are no longer giving the yearly cost of living increase we were expecting and aren’t giving pay raises (except for congress- because they’re really doing a fantastic job- they totally deserve it…oh and instead of closing the tax hole for the oober rich- you know the ones who are making seven or eight figures a year but still only play 2-3% taxes? Can’t wait for that money to “trickle down”. Which is crap. Economists have shown that that whole theory is crap…but I digress). We bought a house that was within our price range. Not something we couldn’t afford like so many people did when the housing market was booming. We’ve never been so much as late on a mortgage payment. We’ve done things RIGHT. We were denied.

Had we bought out of our price range or stopped paying our payments they would have totally worked with us. What does that teach people? Be idiots. Then we’ll help you. (I’m in no way saying this is anywhere near the case for a lot of the people who do qualify for these home loan reductions. There are so many situations where they keep the family in the home- because the person loses their job or because their job stops paying as much- these I can totally understand…it’s the idiot ones I don’t). 

We see this in so many areas. Because my husband has a good job, we don’t qualify for Social Security Income for our children even though we now have two that would qualify because of their diagnosis.  There is no clause in SSI for having two kids. It’s all about the dollar amount on the paper. We don’t qualify for state aid and the early intervention center won’t give us a break on our copays because of that number on the paper.

Because Lance really does have a good job. If we didn’t have all these extra expenses we’d be totally fine. And it’s not even like we go without right now. I’ll make that clear. It’s just that we have to work our butts off to make it work. Every little extra thing is an extra worry. The kids need new shoes. Our light freaking beige carpet is now 12 years old and needs to be replaced. We have a wedding in June we’re going to.  We’d like to do something for our 10 year anniversary this year. Having that extra $500 a month would have been such a RELIEF for us.  It would have paid for most of the extra medical bills we pay each month. (We pay $350 a month for Abby’s steroids and thickener alone).  And as time goes on, we’re going to need to add more therapy to Abby’s list. She needs to start seeing a speech therapist. She should be seeing the occupational therapist and the physical therapist once a week. We just can’t afford it. Fortunately for now I have good books that walk me through things I can do on my own, but at some point, it’s not going to be enough.

Lance thinks we need to sell the house. Move into an apartment for a couple of years. With four kids. One that isn’t quiet.  Our house is too small for us, but I love it so much. I love having a home. The thought of not being able to have it anymore kept me up all night last night.

Ug. I want to go back to bed. But Abby is refusing her morning nap and Peyton won’t quit talking. I’m kind of glad. I like these kids. They’re the reason to keep fighting.

7 thoughts on “You really don’t have to read this. I just needed to get it out.

  1. Oh, I wish I could give somehow give you all the money that you need, every month, or pay all of Abby's medical bills, or at least force that jerk @ B of A to give you the rate reduction. Right now, the only thing I can do is pray for you, so I'm going to, extra hard. You say you're not perfect (who is?), but I think you're incredible.

  2. Keep exploring options and fighting. We went through this. We got a horrific interest rate on our home, and due to the time frame of events when we closed got railroaded into signing. I beat my head against the wall for two years attempting to refinance, then modify, then refinance again until finally after two years of working myself to near insanity levels we were able to refinance and are saving nearly $400 per month. Have you talked to one of the "we can refinance anyone" mortgage companies? That's how we finally got our's through. I feel for you. It really was a horrendously long and arduous experience, but so worth it.

  3. My parents are in the same boat you are with refinancing. With my Mom's medical bills they're struggling too.. I'm sorry Lex, I hope things pull through. I do. If not your family and my family can create what will become the coolest "tent city" in PO. Just sayin'.

  4. This is anonymous from above again. I just read your new post above, and wanted to mention something I had not thought about before. When I was in the depths of frustration with our home modify/refinance situation and things were finally getting really touch and go financially, I altered the way I was praying.I prayed and simply said, "I don't know what's supposed to happen, and at this point I'm too drained to really care anymore. If you want us to be here in this ward and area for some reason, then help this loan problem resolve, or help our financial situation improve, and if not, then help it go fast so we can sell and tell us were to go."And after two years of nightmarish paperwork and near closings and last minute failures we finally had a resolution. I've since spent some time wondering if I just needed to hit the point where I was ready to really offer up my will and say, "Just tell me what to do." And I don't wonder if we are were we need to be anymore either.Sometimes I think fear puts a hold on us. We have decent lives that are content and there may be more out there for us to take on, but in our fear of the unknown we accept the mundane and become static in our spiritual growth. I know that I prefer simple and not scary over the threat of failure. Once I realized that was holding me back I started to look at the home loan issues in a new way.Sorry for the novel. I just know how it feels. Seriously, being taken advantage of financially "just because" and having so many options but being told you don't "get" to have any of them when others do is so frustrating.

  5. Since we were kids, I have admired your ability to communicate your emotions so clearly. You have so much strength and God was totally right in giving you two of his chosen children. I feel the Mother Theresa had it right when she said, "“I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much.”I'm thinking of you and your family and know everything will work out.–Kristy (Munoz) Celik

  6. This is totally selfish but I've got to say it. Sell it and move here! Mom and dad are finishing the basement!!! I'm a stellar babysitter and I promise I would learn to love Taco Bell if it meant I got to see you!P.S. You are in my prayers every. single. day.

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