So last night was happy happy hockey night. Best night of the week, really. But before I left I heard Lance and stupidClint scheming on the phone. I knew they were up to no good. But I had so much rage to get out that I HAD to go to hockey.
I took Lance’s car and on the way home I hid it. Kind of like a pre-retaliation retaliation. So I walked home, went around the back of the house, sneaked up to the back door and banged on it as hard as I could. Lance jumped, but didn’t scream like a girl, like I had hoped. That’s when I noticed this:
They went out into the forest, got the damn table, crudely screwed back in the legs (one of them BACKWARDS), painted it, and put it back in my house. It’s back to being “functional” again. So much rage. Then Clint made Lance take a bunch of pictures of him (I’m not sure if that’s exactly how it happened, but I have like fourteen pictures of Clint on my camera).
Then this morning, instead of hunting down his own car, Lance found my keys and stole mine.
Lexi Mag 
I think we should start up a "get Lexi a real table" fundraiser. I'm getting good at fundraisers. I was also thinking I have a forest behind my house and it would be a good place for my dishwasher… but it doesn't seem to have worked for you…
bahahaha beautiful.
Nice. Can I eat dinner with you tonight?
You're hilarious. I'd donate to the "new table fund". 🙂
I don't know if I should laught or cry for you!
You live one exciting life, Lexi. 🙂
That table is seriously a piece of junk. How has it survived Peyton, not to mention your other boys? Surely their powers of destruction are up to this task.
Pam brings up a solid point. Give each of your boys a hammer! Problem solved. Be prepared for a trip to the ER though I'd you let them all go to town at the same time!
I love that they made the effort to put the Easter centerpiece out before taking the pictures. I'm so sorry about the table! I had similar woes and we finally got a new set second hand that I liked and two days in one of my kids found the last lost sharpie in our house and added some art work to it. I had a moment, and ugly ugly moment.
I had an ugly moment when my son took a sharpie to the back of my "new" (to me) Sequoia. In exasperation I yelled, "Dammit Casey!" and he says, "You kiss my daddy with dat mouth?!". Awesome. I'm getting my saw out today and cutting it into little pieces. Then I'm going to put it in Stupidclint's truck. Or bed. I'm not sure. I found a table I LOVED on Craigslist and it was a FANTASTIC deal and the dude never called me back. So disappointing. I will never buy a new table unless it's meant to be "distressed". Because that's what my kids do. They are distressing by nature.