When you’re like me, wondering why the heck God has given you the trials you have comes quite naturally. Why not spread them out over a couple of families, not just mine? Why not give these heartaches to someone who can handle it so much better? How about someone who has better coping skills and doesn’t turn to food and caffeinated drinks to cope? Hmmm?
Really. He saw how awesome I was in the pre-existence and hooked me up with awesome blessings in this life. But I couldn’t JUST have the blessings, so he had to give me a couple of trials to balance that all out. My Dad told my sister Melanie once that “God loves who he chastens…so he must love you a lot” ha ha sucker! He loves me more (and so did Dad, if you’re wondering). Juuuuussst kidding. You see the point I’m trying to make though, right?
I have a child with autism. Another with Down syndrome. I’m pretty sure I’ve made that abundantly clear. One of the hardest parts of this FOR ME (not for the kids…they have it a lot tougher) is how lonely it feels. I don’t have many friends that have even ONE kid with a disability…let alone two. That doesn’t mean they aren’t awesome and fun and HUGELY helpful to me. They do everything they can. But there comes a point where you just want someone else to know what you’re going through and be able to talk it through with them. I know that the Savior knows what I’m going through. I know that he’s felt this weight I carry. He knows, and He wanted me to have someone who I could talk to. He also knew that I’m a wackadoo and it would have to be someone AWESOME who could put up with me.
So it was no coincidence to me when Melissa and I found each other. I love the Babycenter community pages. I get to talk to other parents of children with autism or Down syndrome. But not both. There really isn’t a forum for that. So one day I had posted in the Down syndrome room about also having a child with autism. I got this letter from someone with the screen name “Melly…” about how she has a son with Asperger’s, OCD and tourrettes and is pregnant with a boy who has Down syndrome. I quickly wrote her back and asked her to find me on Facebook. She did and we became friends. I posted something about the Church to which she commented on. She’s a mom with a child on the spectrum who’s having a baby with Down syndrome and she’s a MEMBER?! It also turns out that she lives in Heber City- which is where Lance’s family lives.
showing his hand in my life, he’s WAVING it.
We’ve been friends for a while now and we write each other several times a week. She already knows way too much about me and I have enough to hold over her head to force her to be my friend forever. She’s been SUCH a blessing in my life. I can tell her things that I wouldn’t tell anyone else. I’ve come to terms with a lot of the emotions I’ve been feeling lately. On top of that, she’s crazy funny and totally uplifting all at once. Things like this just can’t be coincidence! They can’t!
The Gospel is true. God lives and knows each of us personally. He knows what we need and stands ready to bless us. I know this.
God loves her more than he does me.