So I just played spades game with three very lovely black women. I don’t know if I’ve ever laughed so hard at my computer in my life. Things you should know about black (I asked them if I should call them that or women of african american descent and they said anything but the ‘n’ word would suffice. We weren’t as close as I thought) women from Detroit. They’ll lol at anything. ANYTHING. They think it’s funny when fat white chicks call them brats. They aren’t as scary as you think. They do not own three houses each. I asked. They would buy me a kitten if we ever met in real life. But we won’t. Because I suck at spades.
So anyways. Then I got all giggly and started posting pithy comebacks on people’s facebook stati. Tomorrow morning I’ll realize that I’m not funny at all and will probably be down a few facebook friends. It’s my equivalent of getting drunk and having regrets. I get giggly and post on facebook.
My husband still doesn’t think I’m funny. He tells me this. Not so much with his words, but his utter lack of laughter. Utter. Udder. I’d hate to be a cow. You HAVE to produce milk. I like that I had a choice. Does the picture seem at all racey to you? It did me. I’m all uncomfortable.
I’ve been thinking a lot about Sarah Palin lately. She’s been in my dreams. I was campaigning for her. For. Sarah. Palin. That’s worse than campagining for Pelosi! (in related news, Pelosi has admitted to being a zombie. No one was really surprised, that’s why it didn’t make the news. ) I woke up in a cold sweat and immediately told Lance it was time to commit me. Given how I’ve been acting the last couple of months, he grabbed the bag he’d already packed for such a time and went to call a babysitter. He wasn’t that prepared for when I went into labor.
I just made the entire previous paragraph up. Except the part about Pelosi. She’s a cyborg. cyborg zombie speaker of the house. luckeeee.
I actually have been thinking a lot about Sarah Palin. It’s how I take out my innermost rage. I just get all angry about Sarah Palin. Lance is very happy that he’s no longer the target. I’m pretty sure Sarah Palin has saved my marriage because of this. Man I hate her.
The best part about my night? That I didn’t have to make my own zombie pelosi picture. They h ad several online for me to choose from.