confessions · Down syndrome

“I can’t even tell”

I kind of hate it when people say Abby doesn’t look like she has Down syndrome. I know people are well meaning when they say that. They really are. I know that some of them just say it because it seems like the right thing to say, or because they don’t really know what to say at all. (keep in mind that I don’t remember who has said this to me…but it’s been said a couple of times…so no need for apologies) I would have no idea what to say to a parent who just had a baby with Down syndrome. Well, I wouldn’t have a couple of weeks ago.

But I do dislike that sort of statement.

First off, it kind of makes it sound like looking like you have Down syndrome is bad. It’s not. I think she’s adorable, and she DOES look like she has Down syndrome. I don’t see it all of the time. Like when she sleeps. I don’t really notice it anymore. She just looks like Abby. My perfect little present that I still don’t think I deserve.

Abby has an extra chromosome in every single cell in her body. She has forty six perfect chromosomes, 23 from me, 23 from Lance, and then a third that hangs out with her two other 21st chromosomes. ALL of her chromosomes are perfect, she just has one more. She’s just a little more perfect than the rest of us. But because she still has those first forty six chromosomes- she’s more alike my boys then she is different. More like me. She’s going to look like us. I already think she has the Magnusson cheeks. She has my hairline (I know it’s hard to see). She has my nose.

Abby is beautiful. She really is.

5 thoughts on ““I can’t even tell”

  1. 23 from Lance, 24 from you. Just saying. And she certainly is exactly how Heavenly Father knows she should be for right now, which sounds pretty perfect to me.

  2. i totally think she looks like you guys. i see a lot of peyton, but i've seen a lot of you in her when travis was skyping me. skyping is not a verb and should not be used as such.when i was looking at those shirts for the boys, i found some that said "50.0% mom, 50.5% dad". i thought that was so the pictures you sent me. she is absolutely gorgeous.

  3. I'm glad that Abby has a Mama who justs sees her as her. There's a lot of kids that aren't lucky enough to have parents who let them be them. I have to tell you a funny thing that happened that sort of relates to this. One of the first weeks you were back at church I ran into Lance with Abby in his arms and stopped to take a peek, with Maren in my arms. One of the older ladies in the ward (who I don't even know the name of) stopped to coo over both babies and went on and on about Abby being one of the "special babies" and how great she was. Then, as she and I walked to RS together, she suddenly puts her hand on my shoulder and says, "Don't feel badly, dear, I'm sure your baby is nice too." I thought it was so funny and oddly sweet. 🙂

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