Abby · Down syndrome

Baby Abby

I want to write something really profound. Something that would convey the way I feel. Something that would show you a little of what these past few days have been like.

But I can’t. No one could. They’ve been impossibly too sweet to even come close to express it in words.

Abby arrived on Saturday at 12:14 in the afternoon. She didn’t come into this world by her self. I’m sure that she had many escorts with her, as the feeling in the room was as sacred as it gets outside of the temple. Immediately there was this wonderful quiet calm as I realized that the feelings that I’ve been having for months were not me being crazy, but being prepared. I had felt like she had Down Syndrome. Not just that there was something different about her or whatever, I had a little feeling over and over again that she had Down syndrome. I thought I was being crazy so I didn’t say anything to anyone about it, but I also couldn’t shake it. I know now that it was the Spirit letting me know that one of God’s finest was on her way.

We knew immediately. The doctor confirmed it, and then everyone in the room braced for our reaction. I think I braced myself too, for a feeling of dread or deep sadness to come. It didn’t. It still hasn’t. I just felt so humbled. So so humbled. I felt like Heavenly Father was telling me that we’re doing something right with Casey because he trusts us with another one of his favorites. I feel like I’ve been given some big calling that I know I’ll never ever be worthy of, but that I better start trying right now. I feel like I’ve just been given the greatest gift in the entire world. And I have.

It’s been a huge blessing to not feel a sense of grief over this. I can completely understand why parents would after hearing such news, and I’m definitely not trying to minimize how anyone who has gone through this has felt. When Casey was diagnosed I went through several months of grief. Maybe years even. Somehow, that hasn’t happened. Maybe it’s because we know the joy of having a child with special needs. How wonderful every little accomplishment can be. How sweet the spirit is that they bring into our lives.

Whatever it is, we’re happy. We are SO happy. I can’t wait to bring her home. Hopefully it will be soon. She just needs to start breathing a little better, not get too much more jaundiced and keep eating like a champ. Seems like a lot, but she’s tough. She can do it.

There’s too much more to write. I’ll get to it. Maybe.

18 thoughts on “Baby Abby

  1. hahaha! I just saw your knew title to and had to comment. Pam beet me to it! I LoVe It! (yes, i spelled those things wrong on purpose – because of that other chick)!

  2. Your new blog title is beyond awesome!!(I wish I would have read Misty's comment before I deleted mine. I could have pretended my typo was intentional, instead of the brain fart it really was!)

  3. First: LURVE your new title!Second: When Brad told me about Abigail having Downs, all I could think was, "That is so perfect. Perfect family for her, perfect daughter for them." Unfortunately, I know my normal knee-jerk reaction to news like that would have been to feel heartbroken for the "what might have beens". I just felt so calm and happy about it instead. I'm so grateful that the Spirit helped to prepare you for what lies ahead. I am so happy for you guys.

  4. My Dad said it best of all. "Lexi and Lance must be awesome parents for Heavenly Father to bless them with this special spirit". It is so true! She is beautiful, a wonderful addition to an already wonderful family. Congrats!

  5. Lexi,I already love her and have big plans for her. I just can't wait to see her grow and discover her personality and hear about her!I can't wait also for the boys to get to know her and hear about the tales of all of them growing up together. It's going to be so awesome!I consider the spacing and placement of your four children and am again reminded that our Heavenly Father has a plan that is beyond our understanding but what a testimony and a blessing for us as we see it unfold. I am glad you are a part of my life and that I am yours! Love you!

  6. Ok so I found your blog awhile ago and I love reading it. You always make me laugh and I see a lot of similar things with our family. I hope you don't mind that I read it. But I just had to tell you that your post was an answer to my prayers. We just found out that our little girl might have muscular dystrophy and I have struggles with that. I read your post and immediately felt different. I remembered all the happiness that has come into my life because of Porter and just to hear your joy and happiness reminds me how lucky I am to have these angels in my life. Thank you so much for your honesty. She is so beautiful and I am sure she will be such a blessing in your life. Congratulations. I am thrilled for you guys.

  7. Lexi. I found your blog (hope you don't mind I am leaving you a comment!) First off, what a beautiful family you have!! Also congrats on the new beautiful baby girl! I have to agree that these special, choice spirits are sent to amazing families. What a lucky baby to have such an amazing mom. I hope all is well with you! Keep in touch!Erin (Greaves) Ulm

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