I don’t think I write enough about the things that I’m so grateful for. (on an unrelated note, I think ‘grateful’ is a dumb way of spelling it. Why not ‘greatful’?) I’ve been so blessed. Not lucky. Blessed. Luck means that there isn’t Someone behind it. I have been blessed by a loving Heavenly Father who knows me, and who has seen me through the toughest parts of my life and has been responsible for the greatest parts. I’m grateful. I’m grateful for the big and the little things, like:
- Carter’s desire to just be good for the sake of being good. He was born wanting to be better. He’s always had this amazing disposition. He can be wild, but it’s rarely naughty or mean spirited. He reminds us to read the scriptures and pray. He’s so good to his little brothers. He’s getting to that age where he’s very content to spend all of his time with his friends, but when he’s home, he never ever acts like he’s too bored of his brothers. He doesn’t play with friends on Sunday, so his little brothers get him all to themselves. Last Sunday he spent hours with Peyton making him laugh and, well, guarding him from Casey. Casey had a rough Sunday.
- Last Friday was Grandparent’s day at Carter’s school. I had forgotten to get him a surrogate grandparent so he was adamant that I come, because EVERY ones parents were coming. I got there to find that in his class at the time, there was just me and one grandma. We got lunch and he promptly ditched me. I found him sitting next to someone elses grandma carrying on a conversation. I came and sat beside him and we had a nice lunch, but nothing special. I kissed him goodbye and left. I didn’t think about it much more until 4, when Carter came through the door, gave me a big hug and said, “I really liked having you come to lunch today, Mom”. and then he asked me why I was crying.
- With all of the 4am’s I’ve seen with Casey, it’s easy to get a little grumpy when that boy sneaks in to our room. A couple of days ago Lance had crashed on the couch so I had the bed to myself. It was kind of delightful. About 4am though I hear a cat meowing at the foot of my bed. You could imagine my thrill if I had thought it was a real cat, but without opening my eyes, I said, “Hi Casey”. “No, I’m Cat” and literally hopped into bed next to me. I tried to get a few more minutes of sleep in- but I could tell Casey was looking at me- I could feel his breath on my face. I opened my eyes and sure enough, there was Casey looking at me, about an inch away from my face. He smiled and said, “Hi Mom. Are you my gurrrilll (girl)?” It was the sweetest 4:15 am present I’ve ever been given.
- Casey gets a lot of what he says from lines he’s memorized from cartoons and whatnot. The coolest part about it is that he’s able to use the quotes correctly. Yesterday I was trying to ask him how school was and he says, “How was school? Well in a word, AWESOME!”
- Peyton is a joy. As I type this he’s sitting on my lap eating all of my pistachios and drinking my crystal lite. For a long time I thought he’d be our last. I have saviored every little step in his life that I thought I would dread. Like feeding him in a high chair. I hate that! But with him, I loved it. I usually don’t love it when my kids move from the sitting up in one place while playing with toys to the crawling all over the house destroying everything phase, but with P, I loved it. I didn’t take for granted everything that came naturally. Everything that we had to fight to get Casey to do, was still a miracle that Peyton just did it.
- I hate being pregnant. I’m at that stage where everything I do from even rolling over in bed to standing up causes crazy painful contractions. I usually go on bedrest about this time, but haven’t yet. I hate bedrest! But as I sit here, she’s kicking the crap out of my lungs and I’m grateful. I’m grateful that even with the surgeries and only having one stupid ovary, I was able to get pregnant so quick. I’m not a patient person and I’ve watched my friends try for years to get pregnant, if it happens at all. That’s such a huge trail. I know what a huge miracle it is every time it happens. I don’t know if I’ve found much ‘meaning’ behind us getting pregnant with twins then losing one. Sometimes it’s just nature. Sometimes it’s more, and maybe after this life I’ll know why. It doesn’t make me any less grateful for the evil twin that’s left though. And that it’s a girl. I didn’t realize how much I wanted a girl until I found out that we were having one. The next few weeks are likely to suck, but at least I get to have them. She’s probably our last. We always thought we’d have 5 or more, but I’ve felt so much peace about her being our last. That’s a HUGE surprise to me. But I know that Heavenly Father knows best, and I prayed, I got an answer, and I’ll listen.
- I’m grateful for my husband. He has a new position at work so he has to get there early, which is SO NICE, because it means he gets home early. EVERY DAY, he gets home and if there isn’t something started for dinner (and there usually isn’t) he goes to work on it. He doesn’t complain.
- After Logan’s wedding my husband knelt in front of me in the little side room of the temple and took the little socks off and put on my shoes. It was the simplest thing, and it made me realize how much I adore him, and I guess, how much he likes me, too. I married the most amazing man.
I’m a very blessed woman. My blessings come from my membership in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. From my relationship with my savior, from the blessings of the temple, and the blessings of having the gospel in my daily life. Everything good I have in my life can be traced back to this. Every trial is made lighter. Every good thing is greater.