autism

grateful.

I’ve had the strongest feelings of gratitude for the last couple of weeks. So I’d thought I’d write it down. If you’re reading this, I’m probably grateful for you in one form or another.

In no particular order:

I’m grateful for my husband. Every minute of every day. Even when he’s darth vader breathing at night. There isn’t anything I love more in this world than being snuggled up next to him in bed talking or on the couch. We laugh our heads off and we’re not funny. I love watching tv shows with him (did you watch modern family last night? funniest show ever) and laughing so hard that we have to pause then rewind it. I’m grateful that he’s a worthy Priesthood holder. That in the middle of the night when Carter was struggling to breathe, he held him in his arms and gave him a blessing and it worked as well as the albuterol. I’m also so grateful that Heavenly Father helped me find someone who is so calm all of the time and won’t fight with me. I’m sure his rage will someday just boil over and I’ll get what’s coming to me, but for now, I’m grateful to have a husband that i adore.

I’m grateful for boys. I look at my three and think if we’re going to have two more of them, it will be really great.

Carter is the sweetest kid, right down to his core. He innately wants to do what is right and he wants us to be proud of him. He’s so much like his dad. He doesn’t let much of the fuss in our house get to him. He’s (mostly) patient with his brothers. He’s a hard worker and a good friend. Carter is a great little helper, and just like his dad, does pretty much anything I ask. He’s sensitive, too, and is very caring and watchful of other kids. He’s really just got the best little heart. I’m constantly amazed by him.

I’m SO grateful for the progress Casey has made. I’m grateful that he’s VERBAL (even on the days that he doesn’t stop talking). I’m grateful every single time he tells me he loves me (he says “so much” in stead of “I love you, too”). I’m grateful for his big cheesy smile when he comes and crawls in bed with us at all hours of the night. I’m so grateful that he’s happy. He is absolutely the sweetest boys and is probably the most excited out of all of the boys about the babies. Every morning he says hi to my tummy and tells me how huge I’m getting.

I’m grateful (really) for the public school system. This last year all of the speech therapists went under because insurance companies dropped the coverage. I’m SO grateful for Casey’s amazing ‘team’ (minus one chick I’d like to…nevermind….) for his fabulous teacher and all the special help he gets from them.

Peyton is my joy. We’ve been able to have every morning with each other for the last couple of years and I’m so grateful for that bond. He is a total crack up and makes me laugh all day long. He’s so stubborn and lies all of the time (for instance: Casey has a turkey he made up on the wall, Peyton told Casey “I made that. It has my name on it” and continues to fight with Casey everyday about the origins of that dang bird). I think he gets it from his uncle Jamey. It’s never malicious. He just likes to lie. He’s always been Casey’s protector. He’s only four, but since he was old enough to help, he’s been the one that will pull Casey away from danger or go chase after him if he runs off. I don’t know why he does this, and it’s never been something we’ve asked him to do, he’s just taken on the roll.

I’m so grateful to be able to have more kids. I’m not so much overwhelmed right now that we’re having twins, more overwhelmed with gratitude that I GET to have twins. It’s such a blessing. I’m grateful for zofran and that I haven’t had as many of the terrible migraines I had with the other pregnancies.

I’m grateful I’m not in pain anymore. My life is night and day different than when I was dealing with chronic pain. It’s like I got the color back in my life.

I’m most of all grateful for my membership in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. All of the good things I have above come from blessings from this great Gospel. I’m grateful for my eternal marriage with my husband and that we’ll be able to be with each other and our families forever. I’m grateful for the Prophet Joseph Smith, and our current prophet and leaders who guide us in these days. I’m grateful for personal revelation. The blessings in my life from that alone are immeasurable. I’m grateful to know that I have a loving Heavenly Father who knows me personally. Who knows my wants and provides for my needs. Who gives me trials to bring me closer to him. I’m grateful for my Savior. One of my favorite lines from the hymns is “I marvel that He would descend from His throne divine, to rescue a soul so rebellious and proud as mine. That He should extend His great love unto such as I…Oh it is wonderful that He should care for me, enough to die for me. Oh it is wonderful, wonderful to me”

I’ve been so blessed.

4 thoughts on “grateful.

  1. Lovely, Lexi. I often reflect on the fact that we are so blessed materially in this country, and so few of us appreciate all we have, but as you've expressed, the greatest blessings have nothing to do with material things. Is Casey staying at Sidney Glen?

  2. Hey friend! I know that you have no idea who i am, but my sister read your blog entries about the chronic pain and thought of me. She sent me the link. I am Rosie and i feel like i can relate to you so much! Some of the things that you said about how you feel when your in pain and not in pain are EXACTLY how i feel all the time. I feel like we could be friends just through this, that is why i called you my friend! 🙂 I am still on the mysterious path of trying to figure out my chronic pain and i was wondering what has made yours better! i am willing to try ANYTHING at this point (which im sure you know the feeling). As i read through your blog i cried the whole time because i hate hearing that other people feel the way i do. If you could e-mail me and tell me how you got feeling better i would really appreciate it! My email address is rosiehuff@ymail.com! Thanks so much for sharing your stories! It brings back some hope for me that i could actually feel better one day! 🙂 Thanks again,Rosie

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