Yesterday was pure exhilaration coupled with a heavy dose of denial. Today, something completely different- and I’m sure it’s going to be a roller coaster for the next 19 or so years…
Today I’m OVERWHELMED with gratitude. I can’t even begin to fathom the miracle this is. The timing. Everything. I wanted to have a baby pretty soon after we had Peyton (because that’s what I did- I popped out babies annually) but had all of those problems with chronic pain. They took my right ovary. They wanted to take it all out- and I wanted to let them because I was so exhausted from the fight. After two and a half years of that battle, and some inspiration from my sister Shelby, the pain slowly started to disappear- except around that fantastic time of the month- so I went on birth control all of the time. I was so afraid to even try to have babies because that would mean I’d have to deal with so much pain. We thought it would take us a while because the ovary I did have was also covered in cysts. One month later, we’re pregnant. That by itself was such a huge blessing.
I started getting sick even before the test came back positive. I also started getting big quick. I had thought that my due date was off- that somehow we’d gotten pregnant even before we went off the birth control (which actually happened with our first pregnancy). I’m 9 weeks along and fully into maternity clothes. The ‘twin’ thought had popped into my mind- but I kept thinking the chances of that were close to zero.
So, we go to the ultrasound. When she started I thought it looked really funny. Two big dark circles. In one, I could clearly see something, but not in the other. I thought that maybe she had the instrument positioned funny, but to me it looked like there might be two. Again, I thought my chances of that were next to zero. So she shows us the baby we could see and it’s heartbeat and then moves to the next dark circle and zooms in- and casually shows us the second heartbeat. I was floored. I don’t even know what lance’s whole reaction was because I was laughing and crying all at once. TWINS!
I’m so grateful. I’m grateful that we’re able to have another child, doubly grateful to be having two. People keep saying how much they hope it’s girls, and that would be fun, but I’m happy with whatever. Honestly. If we find out we’re having two more boys, I’ll be thrilled. One of each would rock, too. I’m grateful that we had to wait until Peyton was four to have another child.
I’m grateful for the support of my family and friends. Your reactions have been PRICELESS. I should have recorded them. So hilarious. I’m grateful for an amazing husband who- even though almost his entire existence is based on logic- is thrilled to be in such an illogical situation. He smiled the whole day yesterday. I’m grateful that he’s the kind that has no problems with getting up in the middle of the night either.